But in truth, he's been such a big help, letting me retreat to my bed every night after dinner while he deals with the cleanup and ever-constant-ordeal of getting the kids in bed and even harder, KEEPING them there! So I was glad he was able to get out, even though last night I was so, so sick.
It's totally my fault. For dinner I warmed up the leftovers of a ham & potato chowder I made and added 3 cups of rice to it with some chicken broth. The kids wrinkled their noses and complained but they ALL loved it (ok, except for picky Jack3) and even got seconds! I also made some whole wheat yeast rolls even though I felt pretty sick - I just made myself get up and do it, knowing that it would make the dinner complete.
Problem is, they are my favorite.....yum...I very rarely can resist warm homemade roll straight from the oven. So yowza, I ate a whole bowl of the chowder (lots of dairy, rice, NOT vegetarian...ouch) and probably about four of the big rolls. They were so scrumptious dipped in the soup!
I paid for it afterwards though, oh, how I paid for it! I came about 95% close to throwing up at several points in the evening, and basically just laid in my bed once I got Harmony1 to bed at 7:45 and directed the putting the kids to bed from there. I had them get dressed, brush their teeth, then they came in and I prayed with them and sent them on their way. I could barely talk, since talking (exhaling) seems to really amplify the nausea.
Grace6 decided to throw a huge fit - because of ANOTHER fit she threw earlier, wherein she said she was going to throw ALL the Mother's Day stuff she made me IN THE TRASH lol, she had to go to bed half an hour early. Ooooooh boy, you would've thought I was torturing her! She even told me that she could just go get a knife and put it in my heart - yes, she is like that. She is very loving when she is happy, and very bad when she is not.
It was hard to be firm with her (but I'm HUNGRY Mom!!!!! (like that is the end-all worst thing ha ha) when I was feeling sick, but like all things, it eventually was over. I ended up just shutting off the lights at 8:45 and going to sleep with the door open, listening to them banging and playing and laughing and teasing in their rooms. I figured as long as they were put to bed, and didn't come out OR didn't hurt themselves or others, it was OK.
I heard Rachel11 put herself to bed at 10:18, her bedtime is 10:00 lol. I was proud of her though, for going to bed on her own - she doesn't like it that she HAS to go to bed at 10pm, that is so not fair...she wants to be an adult already. She could have just stayed up since I was asleep, so that was neat to see her be responsible like that.
So today, I fully expected to feel sick, but I felt great in the morning! And then was greeted with a big back of semi-sweet chocolate chips, big box of Quaker granola bars, Honey ham lunchmeat (which is the one meat that for some reason is hard for me to stay away from, I LOVE a big fat sandwich stuffed with lots of veggies on good bread with some lunchmeat!), tortilla chips & salsa....
But instead I dived into one of the watermelons he brought home, and ate about 1/4 of it. I still have this annoying "nutrisweet" sort of taste in my mouth after eating watermelon, it's really weird. I hope that goes away with the morning sickness and I don't have to deal with it this summer; I'm counting on watermelon being a staple for me.
Today I'm going to make some Cheezy Kale Chips! If I had a dehydrator I'd make them the right way, on low heat so they'd be all raw, but I don't so...I'm just going to do them in the oven on low heat for 4 hours. I have the cashews soaking right now, and am all set with the rest of the ingredients. You can check out the recipe here that I'm going to try. Since all the measurements are in grams, I've modified it here:
1 large bunch curly kale, stems removed
1 fresh red bell pepper
2T yellow nutritional yeast flakes (NOT Brewer's yeast)
2 cloves garlic
2/3 c + 1 T. raw cashews, soaked for at least an hour & rinsed
1 Lemon
1 T. Bragg's Liquid Aminos
1.5 T. Olive Oil
Sprinkle of Salt (optional)
Small or large pinch of chili flakes (optional)
I'll let you know how they turn out!
Edited to add: My kale chips are now cooking! I had a big bunch, and when I laid them single layer on my 2 round cookie sheets, I still had one whole cookie sheet's worth left, but my oven was full! I tentatively tasted one, and YUMMMO!! I am now happily munching on a big huge bowl of fresh kale doused in delicious raw cheezy sauce while the rest cook. I can't believe I'm actually eating Kale on it's own like this!
Edited to add (again, later):I had to deliver some clothes to Grace6 who spilled soup on herself at school, and when I came home again I finished making the vanilla cream. I was about to eat it, when I remembered I needed to flip the kale chips...they were just about done, actually, oops!
I have to say I lost all interest in the vanilla cream and pretty much devoured them. I also finished the rest of the raw version in salad form. I can't tell which one I like better, actually - they're both different. I'm leaning more towards the fresh version, though, and maybe not as much dressing. I really like it fresh. The toasted chips taste almost exactly like broccoli with that fake cheese sauce, Veneeta brand. Pretty darn good for a quick snack!
I am also soaking more cashews to make Vanilla Cream again, yes, I am getting addicted. It tastes similar to the cream in a Bavarian Cream donut, yet...definitely different. I only have enough ingredients to make one more batch, then I need to head out to buy more Thai coconuts and Coconut Butter.
Edited to add: On my way out to bring Grace her clothes, I stopped by and got another case of 9 for $23. Yay! These are HUGE, too - now I just need to get some coconut butter and I'll be all set!
My fave healthfood store has 16oz on sale for $4.99 this month, so I am planning to stock up and buy either a whole case (however many that might be, and only if there is a extra discount) or enough to have a gallon on hand. That's 8 jars for $4.99 each, $40 total. Great price considering in the past I've paid $64.95 + $18 shipping for one gallon. Sheesh! It lasts me a very long time, but STILL - that's like a humongous chunk out of our grocery budget for the month!
Tereza asked how I find time and motivation to do all this stuff for myself. I think the #1 motivating factor is finding new recipes - especially surfing the net when I'm hungry. I have to carve out a space of time to do this, obviously, but I keep a folder with recipes I want to try, and print them out when I find them. I especially love recipes that include comments about how good they were, that really gives me a vision and makes me want to try it!!
When I have something yummy I'm dreaming about, it's FAR easier for me to say "no" to things like chocolate chips or granola bars. I tend to get fixated on things and just want them to high heaven until it bugs me SO bad I just have to give in. So I'm trying really hard to keep alot of things handy so if I do find a recipe I want to try, I can make it fairly quickly.
The other thing, though, is I know a huge weight gain is so very real for me with pregnancy. I know how I was the first 5 pregnancies, how the weight just LEAPS onto me, it truly is scary! And the things that come with that, for ME - low self esteem, hating the way I look, and ALSO many aches & pains, no energy, hating being pregnant. I don't want that again, and I am so conscious that it is always THERE and could happen again.
Just having bananas and watermelon around aren't very exciting, even though they are yummy. So I figure if I can get in one green smoothie per day, and one extra treat per day, that keeps me excited about eating raw. I also try to switch it over in my mind, like when pizza starts sounding really good, I think - how can I make a raw pizza? Or a sandwich - can I get some Manna bread this weekend maybe?
And yes, my mind is occupied with food much of the time these days. But also, I'm still working with nausea so it's kind of like a fine line. Food is my enemy (makes me sick) yet food is my friend (must eat to survive).
I am nervous about this weekend though, at Macleay. The food there is so good, maybe because it brings good memories for me?? But if I eat their food I will get progressively sicker and sicker. Good luck to both of us with that. =)
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