Mama's STRESSED and the Baking Bug!

Apparently this morning, my hormones are feeling wacky today and I have been a witch with a capital "B". =( Saturdays are supposed to be relaxed and fun with the whole day stretching out...Daddy home...not worrying too much about laundry and cleanup.

Why does it never actually go like I think it will?

Perhaps because there are 8 other beings in this house besides me who all have their own personalities and ideas about things.

One of the hardest things for me right now is when I am trying, trying, TRYING to do what one of the kids is asking me to do (ie, making toast) and then for some reason at the SAME TIME there are like 4 other kids who NEED me to do something for them too. DEMAND for me to do it, and not just in a minute (like I've told them 3 times already) but RIGHT NOW.

They all clamor and say, "MOM!!!!" in urgent voices in varying degrees of loudness, some crying, some stomping their feet. Oh, it just stresses me out! Really makes my blood pressure shoot through the roof (feels like anyway) and this morning was one of those mornings where I wasn't the patient and loving KIND Mommy I so want to be.

But I can always start again - and that's what I am doing - that and calling on Him for help in my time of need. Why is it so hard to humble myself and go to the throne of grace when I am losing my temper? Probably because I'm STEAMING and feeling INDIGNANT and SELF RIGHTEOUS - ie, I shouldn't have to put up with this, I don't want to be here, this day is NOT going to be a good day....all those lovely thoughts that come right at the most opportune time.

So anyway, that is my morning so far - and it's not 10am yet. But God knows what I need, and what I NEED to be quite honest, is to be pushed in the direction of being in need over myself and going to Him for help.

Because as we well know, if the day was going delightfully well with all the children playing and loving one another and making sure not to stress Mommy out - there would be no problems, thus no NEED for change or NEED for God. =)

We get paid on Friday and have very little $$ to stretch until then, and the kids need lunches this week! And they are really into toast lately - a couple of them have been turning up their nose at cereal and to make peace in the morning rush of things, I make them toast. But wow, you can sure go through ONE loaf of bread quickly just making four sandwiches for their lunches + 2 pieces of toast each in the morning! And one loaf is $2!

So today I am making Honey Wheat Bread via the bread machine for the dough, and then just shape into a loaf and rise, then pop in the oven (I think, maybe I have the sequence mixed up). One recipe makes two medium loaves, so I made up one to start in the bread machine, and then 3 more baggies with just the dry ingredients so I can quickly add the liquids needed and get the 2nd batch started. Hopefully this will take care of our bread needs until Friday.

And hopefully I won't eat any/very much of it - I am SUCH a sucker for freshly made yeast bread!

And now I feel like making pumpkin bread. Or cinnamon rolls. Or chocolate chip breakfast cookies. I'm kind of craving that "home cooked" smell in my kitchen. But it is so hard to resist when I'm hungry.........=(

I LOVE RUNNING!!!!!!!!

Wow. I can't believe how much I truly am ENJOYING going for a good run! I do run slower since I am pregnant, or maybe it's just because I am kind of just starting after a really long break? Who cares, it is something I am really starting to enjoy.

I purchased and downloaded the Very Best of Enya CD and listened to that today while I ran - it has been raining alot today but when I ran this evening around 7:40, the sky just had patches of clouds and the air smelled soooo good! Everything had that dewy look after a rain, and the flowers were fragrant. Just beautiful, especially with Enya playing in my ear. =)

I ran for 50 minutes, 3 1/2 miles today. That was my goal for this week, I am happy to have met it! I plan to also run tomorrow and Sunday, the same distance, then next week I'll work on stretching my distance in small increments so that when the week is done, I'll be running 4 1/2 miles. And honestly, while I did feel tired at times - today's run included 3 1/2 hills - I could have definitely continued on even another half mile.

HOWEVER now that I'm sitting down, 20 minutes later....and I got up just now ~ yeah, I'm pretty stiff! But it feels fantastic, I love it. =)

Isn't this tanktop totally cute?? I love it - but not for $39 + shipping. =) But maybe I can find some gently used ones on Ebay...worth a shot, anyway!

Week 14, Day 1 - New outlook on things

A friend of mine over on the Venus Index forum suggested that I look into Cassandra Forsythe and her fit pregnancy blog. Wow. All I can say, is it has completely changed my outlook.

http://cassandraforsythe.blogspot.com/
Finally, FINALLY I actually have some sort of a "blueprint" to follow, someone who has gone before me so to speak, and done what I want to do! That's what I have been looking for, so that instead of floundering and changing things like every day, I can just continue doing it RIGHT and trust that it will work.

Basically what I learned from her is not to freak because I'm gaining more than before, right now. She had a rough first trimester eating like a whole package of cookies like I did, and gained 15 pounds by the six month mark and STAYED THERE the entire pregnancy!

While I think that is probably not what is going to happen to me, it did help me to realize (and remember) that the weight gain is more rapid in the beginning, then slows down in the middle. When I was 20 weeks in my last pregnancy, I stayed at about 140 pounds for a solid 8 weeks, some of it because I went up to 145 and then lost it again by doing more walking and green smoothies.

So. This gives me hope - that the rate I am gaining is not necessarily the same rate I will continue gaining throughout the pregnancy.

The other thing, is that she didn't work out much during her first trimester (like me) but starting around week 11, she started back in and continued up until her due date. 3 weeks later, she was back at it.

Now, I am NOT going to have unrealistic expectations - I will have EIGHT children ages 12 & under (in other words, not super eager to help.....but then, would that even be different if they were older? Somehow I doubt it) and SHE had just one baby. Just....one. little. baby. So....I'll probably be in recovery a bit longer just because I can't rest - unless I have someone come help, which I am probably going to try to look for someone. So we'll see.

The thing that really stuck out to me while reading her story, is that 1) she worked out, and worked out 5-6 days a week. Not wimpy workouts either, she gave it everything she got (In her own words, "I didn't just walk...I kicked my own butt!") and it was quite similar to what I do except that I am planning to run 20 miles a week and do weight training 3x a week. She did weight training but also taught cardio classes.

So, pretty similar. The thing that was really a help for me was that while she didn't really gain very much - she LOST inches in her butt and her arms and legs. Go figure! She LOST FAT while she was growing a perfectly healthy baby. She even measured small 3x and had 2 extra ultrasounds but all was completely healthy and the baby was bigger and thriving each time.

So the POINT is not to lose WEIGHT, but to lose FAT. She said even her husband commented that it seemed like she was losing fat in her legs & butt and getting firmer - so that is a really good vision for me to have.

Also, eating - she said she didn't worry about calories or restricting in any way, but she steered clear of sugar, processed sweets, white flour, and dairy (she was allergic). She ate mostly natural food. That is exactly what I want to do as well, minus the meat and heavier on the fresh fruits & vegetables.

Her pregnancy pictures don't look like supermodels, unrealistic with no blemishes, and I like that. It's not something I wish I could be like and yet, will never really reach. I want REALISTIC results and realistic goals, and I can see myself easily looking like her - which is what I need, something to give me hope and a vision. She is 39 weeks in this picture. So - yay! I'm happy. =)

Tonight I am hoping to sneak away at 7:30 after putting Harmony down for the night and while the kids watch their movie, Rachel babysitting, and go running. My goal is another 5k while listening to tunes on my NEW IPOD!! Woohoo!! I sold my $50 Victoria's Secret gift card (waaaah!) on Ebay for $40 and another toy I bought at a garage sale for $1, for $14...so I was able to get a simple $60 2nd generation (I know, SUPER old but whatever, it's blue and PRETTY and works great!) Ipod.

C ya!

Week 13, Day 7 - Weekly Weigh-in

Week 5: 127
Week 8: 133
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 133
Week 11: 133
Week 12: 136
Week 13: 138 GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!

Week 13, Day 7 - Calorie counting thoughts & Pregorexia???!

I'm a bit frustrated with the lack of knowledge out there regarding pregnancy and calories and nutrition and fitness. I feel like I've got all this knowledge in my head about what I should do, yet everything conflicts when it comes to being PREGNANT and implementing my arsenal of fitness/weight management tricks & tips!

This morning I weighed in at 138 - that is so, SO not okay. I was hoping to maintain 136 for the next 4 weeks or so - yeah, not working. I'm trying not to stress about weight gain, yet according to my two previous pregnancies, I should not be gaining this much, this soon. At least, I didn't before. My last pregnancy, I weighed 140 at week 20. See what I mean? I'm only at week 13, weighing 138!

It's also hard for me to be working on fitness & nutrition during pregnancy when I don't really have a plan or some kind of guideline to follow. It's kind of just a mishmash of things I "think" will work...just kind of frustrating.

So I might switch to counting calories for a couple of weeks - but at the same time, if I give myself permission to eat whatever I want, just within my calorie count for the day - I KNOW I will not choose raw. I'll be doing Skinny Cow ice cream. And things like pasta, and dairy, and everything SO not raw vegan. And then I'll get heartburn, and sciatic nerve pain, and backaches, and feel blah.....I loved the absence of all those things when I was pregnant and raw before.

I also don't believe that a person has to count calories when they are eating only raw foods. The fruits & vegetables are easily assimilated by the body and there isn't any fat for it to store. It's like the perfect diet - just REALLY hard to do!

It's when you do what I'M doing that you get into trouble - eat like 3/4 of the day raw, then go completely nuts and eat 4 corn tortilla quesadillas with mozzarella cheese & onions fried in oil, and then some chocolate chips, and then a piece of toast with strawberry jam, + 2 pancakes with jam on them. Oh, and a small peanut butter cookie.

You see my dilemma? It's like I'm trying to straddle both worlds - what I ate today that was cooked would be FINE if I was eating nothing else for the day, as in, fasting. If I was eating my allotted calories of 1400 for the day. But the cooked food COMBINED with the raw...I don't think makes for a very good partnership because all of a sudden it's all sitting heavy on my stomach. And the raw calories ARE counting.

Rrrrrr.

I know someday all this will be totally insignificant, like when I'm where my SISTER is, who lucky girl, is getting induced next Friday! Yay for her being done!!!!!

But for now it's like a major burr in my saddle; I hate not being able to figure stuff out. Or even to think I know what to do (eat 100% raw), then not be able to implement it with very much discipline. Honestly though, it's frustrating not knowing what to do, what will work, etc.

Edited an hour later:

I just HAD to get on here and include this most awesome article I read just now. It's actually really sad, but it helped me ALOT to really put things into perspective. Really.

It's about a condition called "Pregorexia" where a person is consumed with not gaining weight during pregnancy - and it really resounded with me. I definitely do not want to take my interest in being fit and healthy that far!!! No way! This article tells a woman's story, and this is what really struck a chord with me:

This pregnancy weight felt foreign and unhealthy to me. I felt so out of control with my body changes ... the stretching of my stomach, the increased size of my breasts ... all those changes made me feel like I was losing myself and my identity of being "thin" and in CONTROL of myself. I don't remember thin celebrities impacting my decision, I just remember my goal of keeping myself small was what was deeply rooted in my core.

I can relate to this so much. It's hard for me that I am not in control of my weight, or my stomach, or my breast size - like it's all just growing and GROWING and there is nothing I can do about it! But it is my desire to really just CHILL and realize this is a beautiful thing and could possibly be the last time I am pregnant, so...I am going to just continue on with eating raw and exercising and not worry about counting calories for now. =)

Also....I had an AWESOME workout today!! Probably the best one ever - I worked hard for about 40 minutes and did each exercise twice. I felt the BURN and it was hard work! Not an easy peasy lame workout for SURE. So that makes 2x of working out for this week. I'd love to do the same tomorrow to make it 3x, but I also need to do another 5k run before the weekend and my legs are pretty shot after I do my workout. Doing a workout + 5k, I don't know...I think would be overdoing it especially when I just started doing ANY exercise only 11 days ago.

BTW, Jen, welcome to the world of eating ESE!!! You can see what a powerful method fasting is - and why I fell in love with it IMMEDIATELY way back when. If it can make you lose those 2 lbs no problem, it can definitely keep on doing that for a long-term plan of weight loss or even weight management. Like if I ate way too much the day before and KNEW it, I would just fast from dinner to dinner and wa-lah, it was like my bad day before had never even happened.

It gets to the point where you can easily plan for occasions - like if I knew I was going on a date, I'd simply fast up until our date and then could totally have a yummy dinner with no problems. I think the secret of it all, is to do it and then realize that hey, you're not dying, you know? That wow, you can actually manage the kids and the house and hey - yes you're hungry but not like a maniac type of OMG give me food. Plus, food tastes soooo good when you eat it that night for dinner!

I would have put these in your comments but my computer is so dang slow it takes like 3 minutes just to load the silly comment popup. So, here ya go. I hope you're reading, otherwise I'm going to feel dumb talking to the air. LOL.

Crazy for Quinoa!

I just had to share this SOOOO yummy and delicious recipe that we have made time & time again since we found it over a year ago. I made it tonight and despite my intentions to only have fresh fruit tonight...mmmmm...the quinoa just won me over and I ate maybe ... 4 cups of it. WOWzers - it's really high in protein, all vegan and plant based, but also higher in calories so...guess we'll see what the scale says tomorrow. It is also not low fat, although it could be made low fat.

We eat this all the time as the main entree' for our meal, usually accompanied by a big salad and sometimes a cooked veggie like asparagus or brussel sprouts. One of my favorites that I CANNOT stop eating - it's fabulous warm, and almost better cold from the fridge!

Here's the scoop:

Quinoa with Carrots and Raisins

1/4 cup olive oil (or water for low fat)
1 yellow onion, diced
2 carrots, grated
1 1/4 cups raisins
1 T pumpkin pie spice
(OR 1t cinnamon, 1/2t ginger, 1/4t nutmeg, 1/4t cloves)
1 1/2 cups quinoa
3/4 cup chopped cilantro
1 1/2 cups orange juice (I use fresh squeezed)
1 1/2 cups water
1/4 cups chopped walnuts, optional (leave these out for low fat)

Heat olive oil in a large saucepan over medium heat. Cook and stir onion, carrots, raisins, and pumpkin pie spice until onion becomes golden, about 5 minutes. Stir in quinoa and cilantro and allow to toast for a few minutes.

Pour orange juice and water in and stir well, bringing to a boil. Reduce heat to med/low and cook uncovered for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally. Cover and cook an additional 10-15 minutes until quinoa is mostly cooked (soft) and liquid is absorbed.

Remove from heat and let stand for 5 minutes, then add walnuts. Fluff with fork and serve.

Week 13, Day 4 - Raw chocolate saves the day!

I'm thankful for small victories!! While making lunch for the kids (who are all home today, 2 more are feeling sick with fevers) including Marie's favorite sandwich and a HUGE current downfall of mine, I caved and ate approx 2 whole sandwiches which included 4 pieces of honey wheat bread, tomato slices, cheddar cheese, 2 slices of deli ham, and lettuce. Then I also had maybe... 10 Doritoes.

After that, still hungry (go figure!) so I warmed up a serving of the vegan mexican casserole we had a few nights ago and enjoyed some with tobasco sauce.

Then I was REALLY on a roll....I could tell my sweet tooth was talking to me, as the semi-sweet chocolate chips started sounded delightful in a small baggy while I read my book during naptime.

But then I was just like aw, c'mon...you can do it! I really REALLY want to reach this goal I have to be fit this summer. Like, really. So far I have not eaten anything with sugar in at least 3 days - I want to continue with that!

I have a container full of the "Frosting" I use for brownies sitting on the counter that I made a big batch of a few days ago, and so instead I enjoyed some of that by the tiny spoonful; it's very rich. But hit the spot!

Hopefully I am off of my "eat everything unauthorized in sight" horse for the day and will continue on eating yummy white flesh peaches and watermelon.

My normal workout regime calls for certain exercises repeated 3x. That's what I used to get in shape before, doing the whole thing 3x per week. Last week I started easy, did my regime 1x only, two separate days.

This week I started with a bang this morning doing the workout 2x for each exercise. So I did:

T-Bends @ 20# dumbbells, 20x each leg
Dips 20x
Curtsy Lunge @ 20#, 20x each leg
Step Up & Press @ 10# dumbbells, 20x each leg & arm
Double Raise @ 8# dumbbells, 20x each arm
Stiff Leg Deadlift @ 30# dumbbells, 20x
Side Plank 30 sec each side, 2x
Dumbbell Row & Kickback @ 10# dumbbell, 20x each arm
Dumbbell Squat @ 40#, 20x

The normal workout calls for doing everything 30x so I am not quite up to speed, but I am planning to just do everything 20x for a few weeks and see how it goes. The workout gets pretty long if I do 9 exercises 30x each. I tend to dread it and that's not fun either!

Felt great to do it today, though, and know that I'm starting my week off right!

Week 13, Day 3 - Ran 2.5 miles today! (and poor sick little babies)

My week recap:

Monday - 1x Weight training
Tuesday - 30 min fast walk w/stroller
Wednesday - 1x Weight training + 30 min fast walk w/stroller
Thursday - 45 min fast walk w/stroller
Friday - day off
Saturday - ran 1.5 miles
Sunday - ran 2.5 miles

I feel really happy with how this past week went - except that I wanted to get in 3x of weight training...but that's ok, it went well for the first week "back" I think! Plus, my goal was to do cardio 4x and I ended up doing it 5x so that's great!

I'm thinking about doing a race with Bret, 3.2 miles (5k) in a few weeks. That'll keep me motivated and running - we'll see. It just feels good to look in the mirror and think BIG DOUBLE UGH but then - to just KNOW that I'm doing something about it, you know? That is half the battle, half the feeling of success, really!

My goal is to keep upping the distance that I run, by about 1 mile per week. So in 3 weeks by June 15th or so - to be steadily running 5 miles. I'll probably just keep it at 5 miles 4x per week, unless I feel like I can do more. Sometimes it feels like that, like it did today - I could have just kept on going even longer!

Only problem: I need to get an ipod. Running in my neighborhood is lovely - early morning air, beautifully manicured yards with many different combos of flowers and fragrances in the air. So that part I really enjoy, but I get bored so easy. The run becomes long...I'm not really to the point yet where I can just kind of zone out and pray or think about things yet - I'm still to the point where I'm working on putting one foot in front of the other and pacing myself, pacing my breathing, concentrating on running, you know?

I have a Victoria's Secret gift card for $50 I got from Bret, which I was looking forward to using very much on my little size 1 self! Now...not so much. VS isn't exactly condusive to pregnancy and the major roller coaster your body goes on. My body won't even be back to normal, IF that, for a whole year, depending on how long I nurse.

So my current plan is to sell it for $40 and see if I can find an Ipod on Ebay or Amazon and get some tunes/broadcasts/podcasts to listen to that I know will make the time just fly by.

My littles, Jack & Harmony, have both had fevers for 2 solid days now. It started on Friday morning when I was SO excited to go garage sailing, and he puked first thing when he got up. Then continued to do so the rest of the morning, and Harmony started in during her naptime - one big huge .... okay, won't get into it. =)

Anyway, ever since I have been mama x2 x3 x4 x5 .... I don't really realize how WELL they play on their own until they want me to hold them ALL. THE. TIME. Both of them. I've watched the entire Monster Truck movie like, 3x now. And also the "live" My Little Pony show, twice. Friday I was planted in our big brown living room chair for 5 solid hours holding them. My butt hurt! =)

Lots of prayers for patience and kindness and mercy to their poor little crying selves. And for the olders who don't really get that someone is currently throwing up and I'm trying my best to sooth and keep from getting it from getting on his favorite blankie --- "MOM can I have some of this???? MOM! Mom....!!! MOoooooooooooooom!!!" (kicks the chair because I'm not answering her...)

Today I took a shower (Bret is at the meeting with the older ones) and both of those cute little bugs planted themselves on the floor and proceeded to cry...and cry...and fuss....and ask me things (1 year old) over & over that I didn't know what she was saying. It was actually humorous, I mean - one of those things where you just know it's not going to last forever, and just ... start singing or something. They stopped crying when I got to "I may never march in the infantry". =)

It's super cute when they want to cuddle, but hard when so many other things demand attention. Sometimes it's helpful when Rachel11 thinks Harmony1 is cute because she'll call her over and ask if she wants to sit with her - she's sitting with her now, watching a movie and has been for the last 20 minutes. That would NEVER happen if she was well! Maybe for 2 minutes, or longer if it was naptime.

I hope none of the older ones get it - so far they've held out just fine. Here's to another week of eating well and continuing on with the exercise!

Eats so far today @ 12 noon:

2 peaches
lots of watermelon

Week 12, Day 7 - Weekly Weigh-in

Whew! Finally got my weight down to 136 so I can officially record it for week 12. Weight So Far:

Week 5: 127
Week 8: 133
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 133
Week 11: 133
Week 12: 136

Officially 9 pound weight gain in the first trimester, 3lbs of it in the last week! And I can sure feel it...my non stretchy khaki non maternity pants size 5 are getting almost too tight for me to wear in public. The zipper won't even stay shut, blah...! It's going to be disheartening when I have to go to a size 7...I know that is probably small to some people, but for my 5'2" frame and especially coming from a size 1..it's getting up there. And I'm only in my 2nd trimester, just barely! And yet...9lbs isn't SO bad, it's actually very close to my loose goal of 25# gained max, so I'll be thankful. =)

But enough about that, I wanted to share something fun I did with the kids today, and we've already done twice this week! Today was the third day...we went for a lovely walk/bike ride. The first day, Tuesday, we went 2 miles - Marie5 rode her bike, and Jack rode in the stroller. Wednesday Marie rode her bike again, but this time we had Harmony so I brought the double stroller and we power walked 2 miles again + stopped at the little park for about 10 minutes.

The sun is so lovely! Today the high is 73, sunny with no clouds, and I felt rather ambitious (plus I totally ate way too much food this morning (cooked, rrrr) and skipped my workout) so I mapped out a 3.11 miles walk. It was really nice...but a bit long. I seem to have a threshhold for about 2.5 miles and then I start getting tired of the same old, same old. That's why an Ipod is nice..it makes the time FLY by.

Marie started getting tired, asking if she could sit in the stroller...so finally after the park I let her. My stroller is absolutely AWESOME, I love it - it's a double stroller but at the very back near where my hands go, is another little seat - not really supposed to be, but it's sturdy enough to hold a 30 pound child. So, we improvised. =0

We even got the bike on there! So for the last leg of the journey, which is maybe 3/4 of a mile, I got to push approx 130 pounds - it was a FANTASTIC workout! I can feel it in my arms, navigating it and also the back of my legs, as it really takes effort to push. So I told Marie that next time if she wants to, she can ride. Maybe I'll shorten the walk to 2 miles because it'll be more of an effort.

Up until now, I haven't felt any "warning" sort of effects from my walks - but at the very end I felt my pelvis area start to sort of throb...so I did push it, but I think it was perfect.

HOWEVER all this exercise does not come without a price...I came home to a *lovely* very messy house complete with all the kitchen after effects of french toast in the morning (thanks to my not realizing we were out of our normal, staple 25# bag of oats for cereal!). Like I said, lovely.

So. It is noon now, and my rest time will start at 1pm - gives me one whirlwind hour to get the house in shape, my priority being the kitchen and the monster of a mountain of laundry on the couch. =)

PS Thanks to my eating 4 pieces of french toast with peanut butter and syrup, one big bowl of granola topped with cocoa balls cereal & milk, 10 chocolate chips, AND 1 cup of pineapple.....I'm planning to fast until dinner time, when I'll have something raw. I think that is definitely enough crappy calories for me AND baby for the day.

Week 12, Day 5 ~ 30 min powerwalk

Today was the day I had purposed to get up at 6am and go for a power walk, but as is quite the norm in a busy family, things happened otherwise. Bret was up until 2am at the hospital with his Mom, who has been having some heart issues - she is fine. =) But I tossed & turned, texting him every hour or so to see how it was going. I didn't sleep well even after he got home.

So instead, I did what any busy Mother would do, and improvised! The day's weather forcasted shower and cloudy, but in the morning when I took the kids to school, it was sure pretty out!

So when we got home, I put the baby down (Bret was still sleeping) and headed out with the stroller and my running shoes. We went exactly 2 miles in about 30 minutes, power walking as fast as I could while pushing a stroller. It wasn't the most IDEAL workout because I couldn't swing my arms, but I definitely got a workout - my heart rate was up, and my body temp was raised. My goal this week is just to get my body used to cardio again and take it very easy - but always to raise my heart rate, my body temp, and to do it for 30 minutes minimum - 4x this week.

It feels soooooo good to be feeling better!! The "real" me is energetic with lots of plans for my home during the day. I LOVE Mondays for that reason - the whole week stretches out in front of me with endless possibilities if I just put a little elbow grease into it!

Today I didn't PLAN to, but I ended up cleaning the girls' room - Grace6, likes to cut things with scissors, and she does all these little projects after she's put to bed. So there were bits and pieces of LOTS of things in her room all over the floor - it needed vacuumed in a really bad way. They have a pretty small room but it needs to fit 4 girls - so we have one set of bunkbeds, a crib, and then a princess toddler bed for Marie5. THAT, however, had fallen apart so I just took it out, and for now we're sliding her toddler mattress under the crib during the day and at night will pull it out for her to sleep on.

That frees up so much room in there! I was getting all sorts of ambitious thoughts - their room is pink on the top and purple on the bottom, waiting as it has been for the last 7 years, for a pretty matching border to separate the two colors. Alas....many, many things more important have taken the priority.

But I am itching to paint it - the walls have all sorts of marks, tape, holes, etc and it would look so much cleaner and nicer with a new coat of paint! Rachel11 wants pink & brown - I think that would be a nice change too. But she wants CHOCOLATE brown on the walls. LOL I don't think that is going to happen. But we'll see - Google is fun that way, because you can just search for "pink brown bedroom" and here comes a whole slew of examples! She likes polka dots, that would be cute.

We don't know how long we'll be here, though, we've outgrown this house long ago with almost 8 children in 1190 square feet. But with the market how it is, and with various other things - who knows. We own our home, so we might rent it out and then rent a much bigger place for ourselves, riding out the market until our house is worth more, then sell and look for a home to buy that is big enough for us.

To be honest, though, a bigger home scares me! Well, okay, makes me nervous, anyway. I just have such a hard time keeping this one clean - with so many people, things are always getting undone as I am doing something else. I'm sure we'd adapt, and the kids can also take on more rooms to clean, chores, etc. Wouldn't hurt them one bit! =)

VI Pregnancy Week 12, Day 4 - My FIRST day back to Venus!!

(this post copied from the Venus Index forum I wrote today)

Hello ladies!!! It is so good to be back among the land of the living! I've been sick with awful morning sickness for six.long.weeks and I am so happy to be feeling better! Not 100% quite yet, but enough that I...

...did my first VI workout today!!! Hopefully the first of many, all the way up to delivery and beyond. I have to say it is very weird to do pushups (I haven't done them since my tummy was flat) and feel my belly hit the floor before any other part of me does, lol!

I took it very easy - I chose a random workout in the beginning (Week 2, Day 1) and did just ONE of each exercise. It was HARD to stop at just one in the beginning, it felt soooo good to challenge those muscles and feel the stretch, the burn. But towards the end I was glad I decided to just do one of each, as I don't want to overdo it in the beginning, especially and obviously being pregnant.

What I did do, though, was FANTASTIC for having been pretty much laying on the couch for 6 weeks -

Pushups - 7 real, 3 knees
Bent Dumbbell Row - 20# x 10
Upright Row - 20# x 10
Reverse Lunges - 12# x 10 ea leg
Bulgarian Split Squat - 20# x 10 ea leg
Stiff Leg Deadlift - 60# x 10
Plank - 60s
Stability Ball Rollout - 10x
Squat & Press - 12# x 10

I have never, ever, ever worked out while being pregnant. I'm so excited to see how it goes! But also doubtful...because I know that in order to SEE the muscle tone you have to be a low enough body fat, and pregnancy is allll about gaining weight and in the process becoming voluptuous and round and smooth! Hmmm.

It's a very strange mindset for me to wrap my head around. Instead of looking for a lower number each time I step on the scale, I am shooting for approx 1lb gain every 2 weeks or so, for a total of 25# for the whole pregnancy. So my goal each day is to eat in such a way that I don't fuel that weight gain more than it is naturally going to be. Such as, not eating 25 million cookies, getting a whopper + fries for lunch (not to mention all the other meals of the day!)

At any rate, I am happy that I've only gained a total of 8lbs so far this pregnancy. I know I can continue on this path, I'm just curious how it'll go with combining exercise with eating healthy too!

Want to see my inspiration?? Some of you know Holly Rigsby over at fityummymummy.com - while I don't agree with all of the things she promotes, I LOVE her for her example of how you can stay fit no matter what! She just finished a pregnancy where she was very fit and of course now her tummy is back to pretty darn flat, just what, 2-3 months later? Very cool.

THIS is what I would consider a VI pregnancy to look like. It is my goal and what I'm going to look at every single day to be inspired. She is 38 weeks here, about to give birth in just 2 weeks!

I have been able to stick mostly to the raw diet for the past 3 weeks especially, and it has been wonderful!!!! I love it - there are no restrictions calorie-wise that I put on myself, and there are many yummy concoctions you can make - my current favorite is a chocolate shake with frozen bananas, raw cocoa powder, raw agave syrup, raw walnuts, cinnamon, nutmeg. I have that one just about every day and it fills me up for quite a while.

I also am having at least one 64oz green smoothie which I can just tell by the way my body responds, is the best raw food for me. I put about 6oz of spinach, 2 bananas, an apple, and then 8 frozen strawberries with a little vanilla extract and a touch of honey with 2 cups of water. Super good, tastes alot like strawberry cream - or the strawberries that you put on strawberry shortcake.

Also lots of watermelon, and pineapple - I cut it into long sticks and eat it while I'm watching a movie at night - it's so sweet, it's like candy. I don't worry so much about protein but I do get some nuts & seeds in there - I found some sprouted & dehydrated sunflower seeds on Amazon that are pretty good in curry and teriyaki flavors.

The thing that is really tweaky for me is that I am so used to looking at the package and figuring out the calories, how much I can have, etc. I try not to freak if it is raw and I just ate 300 calories worth, lol! I'm learning to change my mindset but you can bet I will be back on the program as soon as I possibly can after this baby comes - I miss my toned & flat tummy!!!!

Also a bikini while pregnant is something else - it feels VERY weird to be in public with a bikini! Even though my tummy is tan and probably looks fine to other people, I feel like there's this abnormal looking growth sticking out of my middle section. And of course my waist on the side is all smoothed out, no more of those lovely dips and toned look that I had last summer.

I'll post pictures periodically, I just want to get more toned first! Get rid of this flabby feel and look! =)

Week 12, Day - Big Plans for this Week!

I think I'm coming out of the funk!! I'm so excited...sometimes it happens like this, the DAY I turn 12 weeks things just, change. On Friday was my first day of 12 weeks and for the last three nights in a row I have done pretty well. I've been tired, and I have eaten some crappy food - both of which usually make me pretty sick, but I was just kind of nauseous. Not in-your-throat can't handle it very well like it has been.

So I am charged and excited for this week. I KNOW that being a Mama of 7 makes for big plans being changed, so I'm not setting this in stone or anything. But here are my goals for this week:

M-W-F do my workout - just 20 min to start with (full workout is 1hour)

T-TH-S Go for a 30 min walk, leading up to slow jogging after a week. My hope is to do this in the morning by getting up early - the mornings in the summer are GLORIOUS!!! So I'm probably looking at a 6:00 wakeup to be back at 6:45 to start getting things ready for school.

On the OTHER front, I am going to start whipping this house into shape. Too many mornings of waking up to a semi-clean kitchen, bleh. I hate messy counters! But am glad for the children who do the dishes, just need to start reinforcing the way they are SUPPOSED to be doing it. =)

So I am going to be getting out my handy dandy planner and looking at what needs to be done during the week (bathrooms!!, etc) and dividing it up. Also planning meals - I love doing that, I love cooking and providing for my family in advance! I know it is a huge blessing for Bret when he comes home to a warm dinner instead of - um - we're having cereal again tonight, sorry! =) As I am laying on the couch...

In the near future I also hope to plant a sort of garden - I really really want to plan tomotoes, mostly. I love heirloom tomatoes! Also flowers...but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Oh! And my HUGE #1 goal is to eat 100% raw ALL WEEK LONG. If I allow myself NO exceptions then hopefully it will just naturally fall into line. For right now my goal is just the five days in the week, with more leniency (maybe Baja Fresh vegan fajitas with corn tortillas/no chips). I weighed 137 this morning which is a result of eating quite a bit of cooked CRAP this weekend and is the most I have ever weighed this pregnancy. Bleh.

But as always, with eating cooked, once I get lots of juicy fruit & smoothies in my tummy after 2 good solid days, I usually lose 1-2 of those pounds.

We also signed up for the Macleay family week coming up in July!! I am so excited about this - I was so nervous that we weren't going to get a place because we are not donors. Bret was out last night having fellowship with the brothers until after midnight and this morning when I woke up, I had an email letting me know I had registered for the family week! At midnight, it was opened up to register. So yay for his being on top of that!

Summer Conference is always a HUGE motivator for me to get things in gear - before I found raw, I spent many pregnant/postpartum summers at conference feeling so awful about how I looked. Wishing I could look different, but not knowing it was POSSIBLE to. Now I know! I have a couple of awesome summers being pregnant under my belt now, embracing the changes in my body (uh...I guess you could say more...voluptious? I'm still working on getting used to that one and that it is OKAY, I'm used to being tiny tiny!) and looking the best I know I can look in that regard.

I do really well with goals and since I obviously can't have a goal of losing weight, I CAN have a goal of being able to run 3 miles (which I will be doing every morning at Macleay - OMG it is like running in PARADISE around the back roads in the country on the summer mornings there, I can't wait!!!!) by that time. I also want to have a weight goal that I want to be by then, a "no more than xxx MAX" but I have to figure that out still.

For now, I'm late to get the kids' clothes ready and get them off to school, but I'll be back to report on how my first workout in 2 months went!

12pm,
Oooh I am already sore from my workout this morning, it feels great! Feels like I'm DOING something, finally!

I just got back from the farmer's market, it is like a candy store for me when I am eating raw! Anything and everything that I want, I can have...yummy! I stocked up on:

Green grapes
Strawberries
Kiwi
Leafy Greens
Cilantro
Lots & LOTS of on-the-vine tomatoes
Cucumbers
Sweet Yellow Corn
Green Bell Peppers
Oranges
Apples
Bananas
Sweet Peas in the Pod

I was tempted to buy the blackberries and peaches but I'm going to wait until they're in season...they're sooo much better (and cheaper!) then. Blueberries too. =)

On the way home, I ate over a pound of on the vine tomatoes! They are sooo good, I am definitely going to get a bunch of tomato plants this spring to plant.

Week 12, Day 1 - Good day today!

I'm actually quite astonished at all I was able to do today! I just woke up feeling "ok" and continued on, eating only raw the entire day. Bret took the kids to school and at 9am, I took the 3 little ones garage saleing. I ate about 1/3 pound of grapes while browsing Craigslist looking for sales in the area, and then made up a quick 64oz green smoothie to bring with me.

Which is in itself quite the adventure unbuckling 3 carseats each time, but the two older ones have learned how to do it themselves so that makes it easier for sure. I was super happy with how they didn't complain, were happy with their one thing they're allowed to get at each sale, and apparently I brought enough snacks to stave off the hunger. =) I DID have to go home once to pee and get more water which was annoying, but oh well. =)

We did that for two hours, then stopped by Jen's to bring her umbrella stroller back, and ended up hanging there in the sunshine for about 45 minutes while she made some quick pb&j sandwiches for the kids. That was so nice! She also shared with me 2 bananas which were gladly and quickly consumed - thanks Jen!

Coming home, ouch, still had the hurricane waiting for me from that morning to clean up. Marie and I looked through all the clothes we'd gotten for her, Jack, and Harmony - and then I sat and sorted through all of their clothes. One pile for Goodwill, one pile to sell now (summer), one pile to sell and/or save for fall, and one pile to keep. Whew! That was alot of work just for those three - I still have the four older ones to go through!

I was super tired by then but still needed to eat so I had the rest of my cheezy kale salad...then crashed on the bed to read a book and just R.E.S.T for 20 minutes.

Then, off I went to get the kids at school and we decided to go to the nearby school playground to play - stayed there for about an hour and got VERY dirty.

So, home to CLEAN - the hurricane was, unfortunately, still alive and kicking. All the kids cleaned the main rooms while I vacuumed and swept, and emptied the dishwasher and cleaned the kitchen a bit. I'm always petrified that someone is going to walk in the door when my house looks like that, it's like this fear, so I am always relieved when it looks back to normal again.

Then, baths. Always quite the ordeal. EXCEPT! Two things this time - GRACE who is almost 7, took the entire shower by herself!!! Wow wow wow, that is so awesome! So now my four older ones can take care of cleaning themselves with just a word from me. Baths, I dread - they are backbreaking work for me with lots of wiggling slippery-ness and wetness from splashing.

I quickly washed in a row, one two three - Harmony, Jack, and Marie. No time to play today - we're going to have our Friday movie night! Into their jammies they went, and had a bowl of oatmeal with "sugary" cereal on top (a staple in our house, and wayyy cheaper than pizza, so...we had it for dinner!)

Now...the problem of what to watch tonight. I ran down to Walgreens to rent Arthur and the Invisibles, but it took me 20 minutes round trip with all the stoplights and everything. Rrr. They just started their movie and it's after 8pm.

And whew, I'm tired! Bret picked up Baja Fresh and a movie for us tonight, Country Strong. I do want to watch it but by the time the kids are done with THEIR movie it's going to be almost 10pm. Maybe we can watch it on his laptop while eating Baja Fresh in our bed, that might be fun! I'm a bit leary of eating the Baja Fresh after feeling so great today - but it's just veggie fajitas with corn tortillas. Basically black beans, guacamole, rice, salsa, and peppers/onions. I just don't want to feel like throwing up 10 minutes after I eat it, you know? I am hungry though...

But I'm so tired........

But hey, not sick! I had a few moments of nausea today, and that same overall feeling of not feeling that great, but tonight when it's usually the worst, I am still doing fine. Hmmmm.

Eats today (by the way, yesterday was BAD - I ate everything I shouldn't have so let's just forget about that!):

1/3 pound grapes (SO good!!)
64oz green smoothie (mango, banana, flax, spinach, apple)
2 cups watermelon
1 head of kale w/cheezy sauce

No wonder I'm hungry...

Week 11, Day 6 - aaaaah, will this nausea ever end?????

Today I am despairing that I am ever going to feel good again. It.has.been.so.so.so.so.long since I've felt normal! It seems like no matter what I eat, I feel ugh, just yuck. It IS better when I eat only raw and HORRIBLE when I eat cooked, but it is NEVER good, great, fantastic.

Maybe I should start going on walks, maybe my body misses those endorphins. I guess for right now, I feel like I barely have enough energy to clean the house (and I mean ONLY tidy) and make the dinner and change diapers and do laundry and make lunches and put the kids to bed and listen to important things in their minds and make sure I have enough food to eat.

I don't feel like I'm in a complaining spirit, I just feel so...weary. So tired of feeling yucky, hoping each day will be different, but it's not, not really. I do have better days, but never awesome days. I took it for granted, I can't believe I felt so fantastic every single day compared to now, before I got pregnant.

Well, I am almost 12 weeks - in the past that HAS been the "magic" week for me, but I have also had pregnancies where I am going on my 14th week before I see any significant difference.

I think in the back of my head I am afraid that this time it's going to be different, just like how my Mom warned me that if I crossed my eyes too long they might get stuck that way! Maybe I've been pregnant too many times so this time the nausea is going to get "stuck" and never go away.

I hope in a couple of days I look back and smile and think ah, if she only knew what was around the corner. +)

AND - I am encouraged to strengthen myself in my faith, to gird up my loins - kind of like picking myself up by the bootstraps and really FACING this trial and going through it as God has intended it - a HELP for me.

And in truth, I am thankful - I am thankful for how many times I am in need over my lack of ability to cope, yet knowing that He has also planned this for me KNOWING that it won't be too much.

Today I am listening to the song #274 on BMM and it is always so strengthening for me! Especially this verse:

"When we face trials, there's joy in us dwelling,
If we with patience and faith will endure.
No "buts" we say then - just "yea" and "Amen."
All things are possible! Faith makes a way."

I thought about all those things that rise up in me, the "but.....I don't WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS!!!!" No no no no, take it awayyyyyy!!" You know, like a child throwing a temper tantrum. I've really really had to come to faith this pregnancy, I honestly and truly was not prepared for it or ready to be pregnant again. I didn't want it! NOT that I would say I didn't want a baby, does anyone say that? LOL No, I didn't want the SUFFERING that would come - the changes in my body, the nausea, being tied down again with a little one, having-HOLY COW-eight children.

But what would I be if I was left to my own devices? To my own plans, that most assuredly become more and more self-centered and UNHAPPY as I veer off the path of happiness that comes with sacrifice. And chase after earthly things that appear to bring happiness (less children=a cleaner house, a fit physique, time to travel as they get older, more time to MYSELF really).

I am humbled at God's mercy over my life that He sees what *I* need far sooner than I ever do, and while my flesh sometimes goes into the situations kicking and screaming, in my spirit I am grateful for the winepress and how He leads me into victory slowly but surely! Faith, though, that is such a strong spirit! It can overcome anything, even and ESPECIALLY man's "wisdom" and what would be "much better" for "our situation".

I love blogging about my faith because I always get really strengthened. I hope you do too. =)

Here are my eats for the day (to be updated as I eat them =):

1 cup blended strawberres with agave & vanilla
7oz of sprouted dehydrated sunflower seeds - yum!
32oz Chocolate Maraschino Cherry Shake
2.5 cups pineapple
3 handfuls of tortilla chips

Gotta get more GREENS in!!

Kaia Foods Raw Sunflower Seeds REVIEW

This morning I found a cute little box sitting by my doorstep! It was from Kaia foods and inside was the following that I had ordered:

Sea Salt & Vinegar Kale Chips
Cheezy Kale Chips
Sweet Curry Sprouted Sunflower Seeds
Teriyaki Sprouted Sunflower Seeds
Garlic & Sea Salt Sunflower Seeds

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!! I am in LOVE with these sunflower seeds! I love raw sunflower seeds, and sprouted seeds are delicious too. But spiced & dehydrated CRUNCHY seeds? Oh, yummy!!

I can't decide which flavor I like better, I have the three bags lined up on my computer desk, all open, and I am taking turns with each flavor after a few handfuls.

The sweet curry I love because it is slightly sweet, yet "hot" sort of. Garlic & sea salt taste the most like roasted & salted sunflower seeds to me, which always were a fave of mine when I ate SAD food. Teriyaki I do like, but it's my least favorite because the first bite tastes like, well, teriyaki, which reminds me of stirfry & rice which REMINDS me of being sick. So it makes me nauseous.

The kale chips? Bleh. I like my homemade version a trillion times better! I don't know if I'll force myself to eat them or not...they do taste quite similar to mine, but the texture is weird, not light and airy, more like...dogfood. LOL. They're crunchy and THICK.

I immediately went back on Amazon and ordered more! Since they take about 5 days to get here, I should be done with these by then. I ordered a 4th flavor that I didn't get the first time, called "Mole Chocolate." I'm sure it's good!

So for 6 packages, just $15.94 with the $10 off coupon, again. I just think that is the BEST price!! Just $2.65 each, and that is shipped to my DOOR! Woohoo!

Also, I was surprised at how full the packages were. I expected them to be about half as full as that, which is usually what you get when you pay gourmet prices for things. They're chunky little packages - I'm quite pleased all the way around!

Week 11, Day 5 - I fasted 18 hours! Yikes!

That was interesting. I didn't really even PLAN to fast but it just kind of happened. I've done some research into fasting and apparently it is not such a big deal in the first half of pregnancy (esp first trimester, many women throw up quite a bit and/or lose weight from being so sick), but towards the end when the baby NEEDS nourishment, not such a good idea.

Here's how it went down.

Yesterday was SUPER busy filled with an early morning appointment at 8:30 for Marie to get her very first immunizations - we don't immunize our kids until they are ready for Kindergarten. So she had to get five of them, poor baby...she cried and cried through the WHOLE well-child checkup and it was rough having to hold her down while they poked her with that scary looking looooong needle. Repeatedly, over & over. Five times!

Afterwards I promised her (we do this each time) we could go to Toys R Us and pick out something special, plus we also had her $3 gift card for the birthday club to spend, and a free princess crown and birthday balloon to claim! =) We got there and I realized that it was still early, 9:30, they didn't even open for half an hour!

At that point I was feeling kind of strange...I had forgotten to bring anything with me to eat, having to get all the kids out the door and to school AND to the appointment by 8:30. At least I remembered their snacks, lol.

So I put them all BACK into the car, 3 carseats is such a lovely thing to have to deal with every time. =) We went to McDonalds down the street and hung out there for about half an hour. I even tried to order some fries for them (Harmony1 didn't have much breakfast) and they don't even SELL fries until 10:30. Hmmm. I think this early stuff is for the birds! Obviously I'm not usually up & about that time of the morning.

They had SO much fun though, we were the only ones there and without the bigger kids taking over the play area, they had freedom to play their own little games. So cute, the squeals of laughter made it 100% worth it - I need to go there more often, they just LOVE it. Plus, it's free. =) And indoors...!

Then we trooped to Toys R Us and dealt with trying to find something - Marie5, I think, gets overwhelmed really easily because all of a sudden ALL the Barbies were "boring" and the Princesses were "ugly" - even the ones with pretty sparkling pink dresses. I know if I brought any ONE of them home for her as a surprise, she would love love LOVE it. It's just when there is so much, aisles and aisles, she kind of blanks.

Finally we settled on a Princess lip gloss set in the form of a see-through castle purse for $12.99. Bleh. I didn't really want to pay that much, but I guess with her $3 gift card it was only $9.99, but still! It was after about 25 minutes of deciding though, and I was getting tired and HUNGRY and just feeling kind of sick.

On the way home, I realized I actually had a whole bag of sugar snap peas in the pod in my purse! So I had some of those, that helped. It was time for lunch when we got home, so I made Marie her favorite sandwich - honey ham, lettuce, cheddar cheese, and tomatoes on whole wheat bread. Oh, man. I don't know what it is, but that combo is so appealing to me! No mayo or anything, just those simple 5 things.

I was so tempted, and of course I was pretty hungry too, having had nothing to eat since the night before at 7pm. So I guess by that time I had fasted for 16 hours. I made myself a sandwich, but I tried - I really did - to make it healthier. I used my Manna bread! It was...interesting.

Manna bread is kind of gooey and sticky, it is very close to being a whole grain "dough" more than a bread - the outside is crusty but the inside if you touch it, leaves a sticky residue on your finger. I had half the loaf (it is very small, half the loaf is the equivalent in size to just one piece of normal bread) with the same combo - ham, cheese, tomato, and lettuce.

It was pretty good, but still...didn't quite hit the spot. So I ended up having 1/4 of Marie's sandwich, plus 2 rolls with the same ingredients. White rolls. =( Not super proud of that, but I figure I could have eaten worse things...like ice cream or something!

After that I enjoyed a cup of vanilla cream with chocolate on top, and then took a nap. And woke up feeling pretty nauseous so I ended up just laying on the couch the rest of the day and trying to coordinate cleanup with the kids. It was actually kind of nice, when I'm on the couch I am just...laying there, right? So it's a perfect opportunity for the little ones to periodically wander over with their blankies and lay with me. And the older ones hang around, talking about this & that.

Grace6 had a hard day at school yesterday, a girl was bothering her in the bus so she did something that made the girl cry, and Grace got in trouble. Grace has a very VERY dramatic personality so whatever emotion she is feeling, oh boy, she is FEELING it. She very much hates and very much loves. So we spent some time together having "Grace & Mommy time" as the kids like to call it, writing down allllll her ideas for her birthday (coming up in 3 weeks). Everything she wants, who she wants to invite, what colors on her cake, whether to have a pinata or not and where to put it, etc. It was special. =)

I finally got up at 6pm and put a can of the kids' favorite stew we get from the food bank + a good helping of white rice leftover from Macleay. I like to use one can of stew and then add a bunch of stuff to it so it turns into a dinner, and I feel quite frugal. Hee hee. Oh, I also used the leftover tomato basil soup I made the other night to add more bulk to it. The kids did NOT like that soup, but they sure didn't notice it mixed with the stew! Several of them asked me to please make this dinner again, lol.

I also had grabbed a small bag of iceburg lettuce mix & a bag of rolls from the "free" food cart at Macleay, so that's what we had...it made for a really fast dinner so I could go lay down again. Bret had to leave so I referee'd dinner from the couch.

It was really strange, I just never ate anything! I felt kind of lousy and would drink water. I could have eaten towards the end of the day, but I was super tired and Bret was going to bed at 9pm so I just climbed into bed with him. YES the kids were not asleep (but were put to bed) and YES they kept coming in and interrupting our sleep for like a jillion times, but eventually everyone drifted off around 9:45 so it was all good.

This morning I have had 32oz of OJ and feel kind of queasy...I am so looking forward to feeling good again! So looking forward to having a regular schedule and having a clean house again. Soon, I hope!

7pm
Lesson learned. For lunch I had 2 1/2 honey ham, tomato, cheese, and lettuce sandwiches on whole wheat bread. That means I had five slices of bread! Then I had a healthy serving of vanilla cream with dabs of chocolate. Oh, man. I was in utter misery for the last four hours! I am finally now starting to feel back to normal, ugh.

I am reminded WHY I am eating raw and why I have been trying to maintain a 48-hour stretch at 100% - because ALL cooked food has to be out of my system or else I feel way sicker! So I last ate at 1:30pm...and starting then, I am shooting for 48 hours of solid raw food. Munching on peas right now...sweet and crunchy!

My weight is holding steady (okay, wavering up to even 135, but eventually it seems to go back down) at 133 so that's what I'm going to "clock in" for this week.

Weight So Far:

Week 5: 127
Week 8: 133
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 133
Week 11: 133

Week 11, Day 3 - Going out for Chinese

Today so far has been interesting. I made it through the entire weekend without eating any Macleay food, hurray! I didn't even eat any of the salad bar today for lunch, even though I could have, but I didn't want to touch the ranch dressing and the thought of having it plain wasn't appealing enough to make the effort.

Plus, I brought 64oz of green smoothie with me and also ate 3 bananas, so I was pretty full. I had enough energy to last through breakfast, the feast, and empty out our dorm room, and take the kids home while Bret stayed to finish cleaning.

That's when I started getting sick, though - 3pm with only 3 bananas and green smoothie, it just didn't seem like it was enough. I ate 1/4 a watermelon and went to try to take a nap, but couldn't fall asleep - I hate that feeling. But whenever I try and try to sleep but keep thinking about things and getting interrupted by Jack3 asking for raisins (ask Rachel, or I'll get them when I get up)/Marie showing me a flower she picked (No, that is not a good reason to come in here when I'm sleeping), then I just rationalize that it IS nice to lay down, and at least I'm getting *some* rest.

That calms the irritation factor, lol, although I do confess that when Marie left the door wide open and I could distinctly hear Dora sounds, I was tempted to yell at the top of my lungs MARIE SHUT THE DOOR!!!!!! But I remained in rest and didn't. =)

After I got up I felt pretty sick...and still do, at 5:45. We're going out at 6:30 to my Mom's favorite Chinese restaurant for Mother's Day and I'm nervous about that. I haven't gone out to eat since Arizona and the thought/memory makes me ill. But I scouted out the menu online and turns out they are big on pleasing the healthier customers. They offer lots of different options but the best one I could find was a plate of steamed veggies with a ginger vinegar sauce on the side. That's about as close to raw as I'm going to get, and it sounds good so...I'll let you know!

I'm back! It went really well - I got a big plate of lightly steamed veggies, no butter or anything - but it did include quite a few big chunks of onion and whole mushrooms, which I put aside. The ginger vinegar was perfect and very watery but added just the perfect amount of taste to them - I added a splash of soy sauce but just a tiny bit, didn't want to jinx it.

Eats today:

1/3 watermelon
2 cups of sugar snap peas in pod
64oz green smoothie (flax seed, spinach, bananas, apples, peaches)
4 soaked cashews
Plate of lightly steamed veggies w/ginger vinegar

Week 11, Day 2 - my Macleay eating game plan

So off I go this morning to spend most of the day at Macleay (our church's retreat center). We've paid for all the meals EXCEPT for mine, but that doesn't mean there won't be temptations, no sir - it's almost HARDER that way because the little ones still get full portions and of course only eat a smidgen of them.

Today I woke up and weighed in at 134 and I am very happy with that! Still holding onto just a 7lb weight gain for the first 11 weeks. Not wanting that # to go up until I'm DONE with my first trimester, AND arming myself with a plan of attack for eating this weekend, I have declared today to be ~ a day of juicy fruits & greens!

Here is my plan:

Breakfast ~ 32oz of fresh squeezed OJ
Pre-make & take with me to meeting/lunch ~ 64oz of OJ based green smoothie + bunch of bananas
Coming home for naptime ~ dive into an ice cold half of a watermelon
After naptime ~ ice cold pineapple, yum!
Pre-make & take with me to dinner/meeting ~ 64oz of green smoothie
Coming home for bedtime ~ watermelon and/or pineapple

Gotta run.........!

Update @ 3:15
I'm back from my morning at Macleay, and ate 2 bananas + 2/3 of my 64oz of green smoothie. I was able to make it through lunch, even though the cheesy broccoli potato soup with cheese bread *was* tempting!

A family at a table next to ours brought their own food and were making those deli sandwiches that I find very hard to resist - with yummy bread, lettuce, cheese, tomato, and sliced deli meat. So on the way home I was really really REALLY considering making & eating one of those.

Instead, I chose to make some more cheezy kale and ate it like a salad - so so good! Totally hit the spot, even though it wasn't the "juicy fruit" I had planned on it "was" greens, and lots of it! I feel good about that choice. =)

Update 9:12pm ~

Whew! What an interesting, exhausting day - especially eating-wise. I'm learning that it is GOOD to plan ahead, but also good not to stress when things go otherwise.

I ended up eating the entire bunch of kale - maybe it was a bit much, or maybe too much cheezy sauce? My stomach was a little upset when I arrived at Macleay for dinner at 5:00. I brought half a watermelon with me, and ended up eating that towards the end of dinner, around 6:30. My stomach was still kind of upset..

...but I decided to drink the whole Baja Fresh cup's worth of the rest of my smoothie anyway, around 7:30. Sometimes with morning sickness things get kind of screwed up because I never know if I'm sick because I ATE or sick because I NEED to eat. Confusing.

Anyway, I took Jack3 & Harmony1 home with me while Bret stayed with the five olders, and went to Lifesource on my way home since Macleay is kind of in that direction anyways. I ended up buying 4 coconut butter 30oz jars for $9.99 each - a better deal than the 12oz jars for $4.99. Still, $40, ouch. But at least I'm stocked for a good while - I hope!

I was looking for Hemp protein powder & Hemp seeds so I could make this yummy chocolate cherry bomb shake that Kristen's Raw blog talks about ALL the time - but the price tag for the smallest container of Hemp powder was $14.99. TOO much for me, not for something I'm not really planning on using very much.

But, ha, speaking of TOO MUCH MONEY, I decided to buy one of the "Righteously Raw" 90% Dark Cacao Caramel chocolate bars - yea, $5.49 each! But I've been eyeing them on Amazon ($6 on there) so thought I'd try one; Kristen raves about them and eats TOO MUCH of them (in her opinion) so that sounded right up my ally, lol!

It wasn't all that good. I don't think I'm that big of a fan of such dark chocolate, and I couldn't even taste the caramel truffle in the middle. In my opinion, the chocolate I make to go with the vanilla cream is wayyyyyy better. Sweeter, more salty, the perfect chocolate, or at least, as perfect as you can get in it's raw version.

I also bought a little mini raw ice cream sandwich again for $2.49 - THOSE are worth it. Really yummy but rich, the perfect ice cream texture, and a better price for a ready-made raw treat.

I also got Hazelnut extract! Totally a whim purchase and also spendy at $5.49 but it looked so intriguing to me - it sounds like it might pair with my chocolate to make a delicious hazelnut chocolate. Maybe with hazelnuts mixed in, too? We'll see, I am also planning to try it in the chocolate shake I like to make too.

ANYWAY, while I was at Lifesource, it is always extremely hard for me to resist their food. They had a Veggie Lasagna that was non-flour everything but did have mozzerella cheese. I ended up getting a square and I don't even (want to) know what it cost, but it was really good. Everything they make is with their own organic ingredients, and just the best of the best. It is now 1 1/2 hours later and I feel totally fine, so apparently that was a good choice.

My food for today:

1 Baja Fresh cup of fresh squeezed OJ
3 bananas
64oz of green smoothie (peaches, strawberries, OJ, spinach, Chlorophyll, bananas, apples - tooooo sweet!!)
1 bunch of kale w/cheezy sauce
2 bites of raw caramel chocolate bar
1 raw ice cream sandwich
1 square veggie lasagna
1/2 watermelon

I'm curious to see what my weight is tomorrow on this rather strange, yet pretty darn healthy eating day I had. Tomorrow I'm going to be armed with another green smoothie for the feast at Macleay - if I can get through it, I will have eaten not one bite of Macleay food the entire weekend and that is a first in many, many moons for me!!! Yay!

Week 11, Day 1 - Cheezy Kale Chips

Today I woke up to MANY temptations in food! Bret was super duper nice to go big grocery shopping at Costco yesterday after work. I made up the list and put it all in "store order" for him and wa-lah, it showed up in my home when I woke up this morning. He texted me at 7:15 asking if he could go get a beer with his friend as a "reward" for shopping - ha ha! I thought that was so funny, I was like - what? You need a REWARD now??

But in truth, he's been such a big help, letting me retreat to my bed every night after dinner while he deals with the cleanup and ever-constant-ordeal of getting the kids in bed and even harder, KEEPING them there! So I was glad he was able to get out, even though last night I was so, so sick.

It's totally my fault. For dinner I warmed up the leftovers of a ham & potato chowder I made and added 3 cups of rice to it with some chicken broth. The kids wrinkled their noses and complained but they ALL loved it (ok, except for picky Jack3) and even got seconds! I also made some whole wheat yeast rolls even though I felt pretty sick - I just made myself get up and do it, knowing that it would make the dinner complete.

Problem is, they are my favorite.....yum...I very rarely can resist warm homemade roll straight from the oven. So yowza, I ate a whole bowl of the chowder (lots of dairy, rice, NOT vegetarian...ouch) and probably about four of the big rolls. They were so scrumptious dipped in the soup!

I paid for it afterwards though, oh, how I paid for it! I came about 95% close to throwing up at several points in the evening, and basically just laid in my bed once I got Harmony1 to bed at 7:45 and directed the putting the kids to bed from there. I had them get dressed, brush their teeth, then they came in and I prayed with them and sent them on their way. I could barely talk, since talking (exhaling) seems to really amplify the nausea.

Grace6 decided to throw a huge fit - because of ANOTHER fit she threw earlier, wherein she said she was going to throw ALL the Mother's Day stuff she made me IN THE TRASH lol, she had to go to bed half an hour early. Ooooooh boy, you would've thought I was torturing her! She even told me that she could just go get a knife and put it in my heart - yes, she is like that. She is very loving when she is happy, and very bad when she is not.

It was hard to be firm with her (but I'm HUNGRY Mom!!!!! (like that is the end-all worst thing ha ha) when I was feeling sick, but like all things, it eventually was over. I ended up just shutting off the lights at 8:45 and going to sleep with the door open, listening to them banging and playing and laughing and teasing in their rooms. I figured as long as they were put to bed, and didn't come out OR didn't hurt themselves or others, it was OK.

I heard Rachel11 put herself to bed at 10:18, her bedtime is 10:00 lol. I was proud of her though, for going to bed on her own - she doesn't like it that she HAS to go to bed at 10pm, that is so not fair...she wants to be an adult already. She could have just stayed up since I was asleep, so that was neat to see her be responsible like that.

So today, I fully expected to feel sick, but I felt great in the morning! And then was greeted with a big back of semi-sweet chocolate chips, big box of Quaker granola bars, Honey ham lunchmeat (which is the one meat that for some reason is hard for me to stay away from, I LOVE a big fat sandwich stuffed with lots of veggies on good bread with some lunchmeat!), tortilla chips & salsa....

But instead I dived into one of the watermelons he brought home, and ate about 1/4 of it. I still have this annoying "nutrisweet" sort of taste in my mouth after eating watermelon, it's really weird. I hope that goes away with the morning sickness and I don't have to deal with it this summer; I'm counting on watermelon being a staple for me.

Today I'm going to make some Cheezy Kale Chips! If I had a dehydrator I'd make them the right way, on low heat so they'd be all raw, but I don't so...I'm just going to do them in the oven on low heat for 4 hours. I have the cashews soaking right now, and am all set with the rest of the ingredients. You can check out the recipe here that I'm going to try. Since all the measurements are in grams, I've modified it here:

1 large bunch curly kale, stems removed
1 fresh red bell pepper
2T yellow nutritional yeast flakes (NOT Brewer's yeast)
2 cloves garlic
2/3 c + 1 T. raw cashews, soaked for at least an hour & rinsed
1 Lemon
1 T. Bragg's Liquid Aminos
1.5 T. Olive Oil
Sprinkle of Salt (optional)
Small or large pinch of chili flakes (optional)

I'll let you know how they turn out!

Edited to add: My kale chips are now cooking! I had a big bunch, and when I laid them single layer on my 2 round cookie sheets, I still had one whole cookie sheet's worth left, but my oven was full! I tentatively tasted one, and YUMMMO!! I am now happily munching on a big huge bowl of fresh kale doused in delicious raw cheezy sauce while the rest cook. I can't believe I'm actually eating Kale on it's own like this!

Edited to add (again, later):I had to deliver some clothes to Grace6 who spilled soup on herself at school, and when I came home again I finished making the vanilla cream. I was about to eat it, when I remembered I needed to flip the kale chips...they were just about done, actually, oops!

I have to say I lost all interest in the vanilla cream and pretty much devoured them. I also finished the rest of the raw version in salad form. I can't tell which one I like better, actually - they're both different. I'm leaning more towards the fresh version, though, and maybe not as much dressing. I really like it fresh. The toasted chips taste almost exactly like broccoli with that fake cheese sauce, Veneeta brand. Pretty darn good for a quick snack!

I am also soaking more cashews to make Vanilla Cream again, yes, I am getting addicted. It tastes similar to the cream in a Bavarian Cream donut, yet...definitely different. I only have enough ingredients to make one more batch, then I need to head out to buy more Thai coconuts and Coconut Butter.

Edited to add: On my way out to bring Grace her clothes, I stopped by and got another case of 9 for $23. Yay! These are HUGE, too - now I just need to get some coconut butter and I'll be all set!

My fave healthfood store has 16oz on sale for $4.99 this month, so I am planning to stock up and buy either a whole case (however many that might be, and only if there is a extra discount) or enough to have a gallon on hand. That's 8 jars for $4.99 each, $40 total. Great price considering in the past I've paid $64.95 + $18 shipping for one gallon. Sheesh! It lasts me a very long time, but STILL - that's like a humongous chunk out of our grocery budget for the month!

Tereza asked how I find time and motivation to do all this stuff for myself. I think the #1 motivating factor is finding new recipes - especially surfing the net when I'm hungry. I have to carve out a space of time to do this, obviously, but I keep a folder with recipes I want to try, and print them out when I find them. I especially love recipes that include comments about how good they were, that really gives me a vision and makes me want to try it!!

When I have something yummy I'm dreaming about, it's FAR easier for me to say "no" to things like chocolate chips or granola bars. I tend to get fixated on things and just want them to high heaven until it bugs me SO bad I just have to give in. So I'm trying really hard to keep alot of things handy so if I do find a recipe I want to try, I can make it fairly quickly.

The other thing, though, is I know a huge weight gain is so very real for me with pregnancy. I know how I was the first 5 pregnancies, how the weight just LEAPS onto me, it truly is scary! And the things that come with that, for ME - low self esteem, hating the way I look, and ALSO many aches & pains, no energy, hating being pregnant. I don't want that again, and I am so conscious that it is always THERE and could happen again.

Just having bananas and watermelon around aren't very exciting, even though they are yummy. So I figure if I can get in one green smoothie per day, and one extra treat per day, that keeps me excited about eating raw. I also try to switch it over in my mind, like when pizza starts sounding really good, I think - how can I make a raw pizza? Or a sandwich - can I get some Manna bread this weekend maybe?

And yes, my mind is occupied with food much of the time these days. But also, I'm still working with nausea so it's kind of like a fine line. Food is my enemy (makes me sick) yet food is my friend (must eat to survive).

I am nervous about this weekend though, at Macleay. The food there is so good, maybe because it brings good memories for me?? But if I eat their food I will get progressively sicker and sicker. Good luck to both of us with that. =)

Week 10, Day 6 - Trader Joes/Midwife Appt/Sunflower Seeds

I wasn't all that impressed with Trader Joes. I think that Whole Foods Market is more down my ally - I was hoping for Manna bread and some raw food treats (maybe some of those sunflower seed sprouts!) but TJ's had neither. Turns out, though, there is a Whole Foods Market even closer than TJ's to my birth center, so on my next appointment which is June 3rd, I'm going to check it out afterwards!

I did buy a red bell pepper and a pound of raw cashews - I think both of those are needed for the cheesy kale chips recipe I'm going to try.

My midwife appointment went well - I met a new midwife who was filling in for my normal one. I found out that there is a midwife who lives just minutes away from me! (As opposed to all the rest who live at LEAST 40 min away, if not more) I'm kind of kicking around the idea of trying a home birth this time, and I think Bret would be more comfortable with the idea if he knew Tracy was just right down the road. Anything to avoid having the baby born while he's driving like last time, I think!

I just LOVE the idea of retreating into my room by myself and really being able to focus inward and do my thing. I am confident that I can birth a baby on my own because, well, I've already done it, ha ha! It was very easy, smooth, and fluid in motion almost like I naturally did what I needed to do. I tend to tense up and want to perform, or please people who are around me - always aware of what they might be hoping/expecting me to do/act, and only when I'm by myself or Bret can I truly relax. But I've even thought, it would not be so bad if Bret couldn't make it to the birth (like worst case scenario someday) because I'm confident I could do it. I don't want to have to be the brave soldier - even if it's only *I* who thinks others are wanting me to be like that.

Anyway, I shared that with her and she said some people like to prepare at home AND at the center - so that the option is there to have it at home if necessary (as opposed to in the CAR, not really an ideal situation with DH driving 102 MPH!), but also have the option to drive to the birth center.

But it's also maybe just that I need everyone to leave me alone AT the birthing center, not necessarily at home. My room, bleh, I don't like it in there right now. Everything is turned upside down due to the project I started RIGHT before I got pregnant and sick, and it is like the opposite of a sanctuary, unlike the beautiful and cozy rooms at the birthing center.

I think it's settling in now, that I'm going to have another baby. It was nice going there again, brought back alot of really good memories. I have only had good experiences with the midwives, and I love how laid back they are. She gave my littles some crackers because they were acting up (of COURSE! Mommy is talking to someone, duh, we have to get her attention somehow!)and when they promptly dropped crumbs and pieces on the floor she was like, "Oh, don't even worry. I always know when I give crackers to them that I'll just sweep afterwards." =) She hugged me when I left - they're so nice and informal and just really really want to make you feel at HOME there.

She couldn't hear the baby's heartbeat, but she said that is normal for 10 weeks. Next time I go we should hear it strong & loud. The kids were scared by the loud whoosh whoosh noise and covered their ears, lol. I guess it does sound kind of like a monster, hee hee!

I came home and had already soaked some cashews in preparation to make some of that YUMMY vanilla cream again! Here is the recipe:

Vanilla Cream
1/2c cashews, soaked
1/2c thai coconut meat
3T thai coconut water
1/4c agave
1/4c coconut oil or butter
1T vanilla extract
pinch of salt

Blend, blend, blend! At first it totally stops up my blender, refuses to blend due to the lack of moisture, but when the coconut butter starts to get warm it gets more liquid-y and turns into a cream. Freeze until it turns into ice cream if you can, I couldn't wait that long and I ate the whole thing! But I feel OK about that because for breakfast I had 4 grapefruit, juiced...3/4 lb grapes, and 32oz of green smoothie.

I had made a fairly big batch of the chocolate frosting the other day, and it is now the consistency of butter, so I put little chunks into the cream. It is slightly salty, and the perfect balance - soooo good! Here is that recipe:

"Store Bought" Chocolate Frosting
9T coconut butter
9T cocoa powder
pinch salt
9T agave
1/2 tsp vanilla
1T warm water

It was a big trip to the birth center, I'm tired out! And the house is a mess. =( Guess I'll be cleaning after naptime...I'm headed to take a nap now, until the kids come home from school.

....I got a little sidetracked just now and did some surfing on Amazon - those sunflower seeds just keep calllllling me and we got PAID today. Hmmmmm. As I was looking at them, I came across a promotion they're having where if you buy $20 worth, you get $10 off! What!? That's like 50% off!

So after reading about Kristen's raves I decided to order some. I ordered:

Teriyaki Sprouted Sunflower Seeds
Curry Sprouted Sunflower Seeds
Garlic & Salt Sunflower Seeds
Cheezy Kale Chips
Salt & Vinegar Kale Chips

My total order WITH shipping was $15.45 - I was quite happy with that! Basically $3 per item - I would definitely pay that in the store if I was just shopping. I hope their promotion continues because if I like them, I'd love to buy more to have as a special treat when I'm reading a good book. =)

The kale chips I ONLY bought because Kristen raves and raves about them, AND is always eating them! She keeps a food journal and they are on there quite a bit. She says she would make her own, but where she lives apparently red bell peppers aren't as readily available as here. I can get them for 85c each quite often.

I'll make my own, you bet I will, but I also want to taste store bought ones too and see what they're like.

Oh! I'm so dumb. I just realized the ones she gets are a totally different brand, from Mountain something or other. Darn it! I could've gotten 3 more packages of sunflower seeds instead. Oh well, guess I'll have to see! I'll let you know. =)

Weight So Far:

Week 5: 127
Week 8: 133
Week 9: 130
Week 10: 133

Week 10, Day 6 - Vanilla Ice cream w/chocolate hard shell topping!

Guess what I had this morning for breakfast? Hee hee .... yep, ice cream w/chocolate topping. Ooooh it was yummy! And all raw too, so not one bit of guilt!

I had found a recipe for something called "vanilla cream" that looked pretty good - it has soaked cashews, agave, vanilla, salt, coconut butter, and the meat & milk from a thai coconut. Blended together on high speed via my Vitamix, it became creamy and thick. I froze it, and wa-la, ice cream!

While it was freezing, I decided to make the raw chocolate I was craving yesterday - it's basically the chocolate frosting recipe from the brownies I make. I sat at the computer and had my fingers do the cleanup for the blender. =)

I thought it'd be cool to have the vanilla ice cream with chocolate topping, it's the consistency of hot fudge so...why not? But once it had been on the ice cream for about a minute, it hardened up and was like it's own identity in the ice cream instead of mixing in. I love it when I accidentally come across new creations! This one takes a *bit* of planning (mostly just the soaking of the cashews, but then also the freezing of the ice cream) but will definitely be my go-to if I want something sweet.

Except that I still need to see if it's going to affect me negatively - it does seem to be alot of "sweet" (meaning agave, I guess) compared to what I'm used to - fresh fruits & veggies. I can feel my heart has sped up from the sugar (even though it's natural) already. Hmmmm. Probably not something to eat EVERY day, but definitely a treat to have tucked away!

I've also read that you can make vanilla ice cream using simply just frozen bananas. Supposedly if your food processor is able to whip it well enough, it loses it's banana taste for the most part, and is exactly the consistency of ice cream! I'm going to try that with my chocolate sauce next, and see if it cuts down on the blood sugar issue.

This morning I weighed in at 133.8! I was HAPPY about that. I am going to wait to weigh in tomorrow, and if it's lower then that's what I'll record for my week 10 weight.

My first midwife appointment was supposed to be for today, but she called to say she'd been up all night with a birth and could I come in tomorrow instead? I was so disappointed...all the kids were ready and we were about to head out the door in about half an hour. I was looking forward to stopping at Trader Joe's on the way - it's 36 miles away but pretty close to the birth center so if I ever was to go there, it'd be piggybacked onto an appointment. I've never been! I've heard they have frozen cherries there...and I want to see what else they have.

So I'm going to get ready to go all over again tomorrow, and head out - my birth center is about 35 minutes away.

Oh! I went on Trader Joe's site and found out they're opening a new store just 7 miles away from me! Yay! Of course, it is right next to the only health food store in the city that is comparably big - and takes about 15 minutes to get there - hmph. Someday they'll figure out that THIS side of town needs one too!

Yesterday was day #3 of being 100% raw - I am LOVING how easy it is for me right now. Usually I am wrestling with these whispers, cravings, urges, whatever - they knock and knock and knock on my mind and it's like I have this NEED to eat xxx (cooked) and if I don't eventually give in, it drives me nuts! For right now I feel this inner calm, no storms brewing - and I think part of it is because I have quite a few recipes I want to try, and I have lots of options (ingredients - fruits, veggies, nuts, seeds, coconut, cocoa powder, etc) all around me.

It's hard not to want to buy raw treats online, though! I came across this company that sells sprouted sunflower seeds that they season and then dehydrate. Oooooh yum!!!

I LOVE sprouted sunflower seeds, I can eat them by the handful, they're juicy and crunchy and really really good for you - great "smoky" taste too. I've dehydrated them before and they were yummier like that - but never added seasoning. They're $3.49 for 5oz PLUS shipping - I know, ouch. But so tempting.........!

Now is when I wish I was still selling on Ebay, and doing my newsletter. When it was "live" I had quite a few members and it was two-fold - they would pay monthly for the membership but also, I could promote certain products, mostly my 2 ebooks, and get INSTANT cash pretty much! To spend on extra things. But I don't wish for the work it was, no way no how. I HATED that part. So I love my freedom now, and will be thankful I don't have to work on the computer at all. And maybe I can slip in a few orders here & there online.

I've ordered treats before that were raw - and been disappointed with most of it. At least, the chocolate stuff, and the bars. They make them sound so tasty, and I think the problem is that you picture/taste the SAD version in your mind. It's not that they are good in their own right, it's just that they are a different sort of good and rarely resemble that actual same taste as the cooked version.

I have ordered seasoned nuts that tasted pretty darn good, raw ones, BUT - they almost always sit like lead in my stomach and give me trouble. I think that perhaps seeds would be different, though - sunflower seeds especially seem to do OK for me.

Today is a beautiful day, 71 degrees and partly sunny - right now there is not a cloud in the sky and Marie5 & Jack3 are playing outside and it's only 9:20. I plan to lay in the sun on the trampoline during naptime today - it's so therapeutic, and the Vitamin D is wonderful. Marie loves to bring her blankets out there and take a "nap" with me. The two little ones will be sleeping and the rest will be at school - I love May for that reason! I get many peaceful, restful afternoons. I love summers too, though, for their lazy no-schedules-to-follow days. Even better that I'll be raw this summer, life is a delight!

We moved all our children from the city elementary K-5 school in our neighborhood, to a small country K-8 school this past year. Oooooh it is GLORIOUS driving them to school in the morning! I love it SO much - it is like a breath of fresh air, first thing in the morning - literally!

This is often what I see when I am driving - especially on a sunny day like today. Countryside at it's finest, and it is a 20 minute round-trip drive. I grew up in the country and my roots are there - I often long for the fresh air and beautiful scenery. We're lucky to live on the edge of town, so when you leave our neighborhood you are pretty quickly in the country with fields and many country homes with barns, cows, and white picket fences. I love to go running because it's so beautiful, especially in the early morning with the crisp, cool air that whispers of a hot sunny day.