Week 31, Day 6 - Pinterest, a Beautiful Home, and other thoughts...

I hope to make this quick because my house needs a tidying something fierce! I don't want to get stuck on here. =)

So - my clothes are getting too tight. I need to do some serious shopping. My shirts are getting too tight in the tummy which is good, except that I also wonder if I'm gaining back fat at the same time in addition to a growing belly...rrrr. My bottoms are also getting tight, unfortunately - which means I am gaining weight. But honestly....it's not really that big of a deal to me, I know how to get the weight off and I am looking forward to jumping in head first with that hopefully beginning February 1st. So it kind of gives me a little bit of leeway to hang out and enjoy the pregnancy (OMG did I just say enjoy the pregnancy?? Ha!).

Walking lasted 5 days and then when the rain hit, I was no longer motivated. But mostly, and to be completely honest - I really REALLY needed that motivation to jumpstart me out of my state of boohoo and poor me and life sucks. And it worked! I had goals again (of walking) and staying fit and I had sort of something to do with myself, instead of just waiting for....the END to come.

Then, on Sunday to be specific, I went to a baby shower for my sister in law who is due a week from tomorrow!!! LUCKY her! The shower was at Rachel T's house - I'm sure some of you ladies have been there, but *I* never have.

Given my current state of obsession (which is necessary, I believe God sends us these obsession-like tendencies so that we'll get the job done!! Same goes with fitness!) with making my home into a place that is lovely and welcoming....I was so completely WOWED by her house that I could not get over it. Even ask DH, I was talking about her home for like, the rest of the night. Ha ha!

It was GORGEOUS!!!!!! Like, everything I have been dreaming of and wishing I could do with our house. But the thing is, I've been in beautiful homes before (Becky T, Tina B, and Susan B, love their homes!) BUT never before has it seemed so feasible for ME to make MY home into what I consider to be a beautiful home. Specifically the interior.

I am not talking about the structure of the home itself - in my opinion, everyone is ALREADY living in a gorgeous home - they just have to MAKE IT SO!

And what inspired me SO completely was when I came to the realization that she along with her husband, had actually purchased an older 80's home and everything that I saw that was definitely NOT older 80's, had been done by THEM! Little by little, as they were able to, as she found stuff on craigslist, as she slowly put together the most beautiful decor I've ever seen in person.

The cabinets in her kitchen were painted white, so pretty and so bright! You could see where they had added crown molding to the top of the cabinets and soft lights behind there - the nail holes were still present and waiting to be filled in. White? Yes, WHITE. Very similar to this kitchen...isn't it pretty?

Just about everything in her house was WHITE - and actually it is quite interesting because if you think about it, white is not very practical with little ones - and she has THREE ages 7, 5, and 3. But I suppose that in a way it makes it easier to SEE the dirt, so you can wipe it off. OR even touch it up since it's, well, WHITE.

I don't know if it is a pregnancy thing (I really hope not!!) but I am currently obsessed with WHITE in my home! I could not believe how beautiful it made her house, especially when she hung sheer curtains from her bay windows, and the sun was streaming in as we were sitting there sharing bits of advice about babies. Her COUCHES were white too and at one point I was like um...Okay, I have to know?? HOW do you keep these clean??

She was like oh, it's no problem - they are from Ikea, and covered in Ikea's slipcovers, and the slipcover unzips and can be thrown in the wash and bleached white again. Hmmm. That concept is pretty much what I've gone with, in my reasoning behind getting all white bedding. As long as it is removable and able to wash, I love the idea! I think though, that it would be perfect for a room that doesn't get much use, as in a separate more formal and beautiful living room...but it really has opened up a whole new world for me where things used to have to always be black or brown when you have lots of kids. PAINT, in particular, can always be repainted!

Her color scheme was GRAY on the walls, as well. It looked SO beautiful and calming and serene, I don't think I ever would have seen gray as an option to paint my entire main living area. It seems like it would be depressing??? But with all the white, it was not, it was beautiful. I'm actually thinking about doing the same in my house - but I don't know if I'm brave enough. It is a very far cry from my current, more Italian warm colors of gold, olive, burgundy decor. It would be a humongous MAJOR change for me but I really love the idea of white and who knows, maybe it IS time for a change. After all I've had this type of decor for the entire time I've been married, 14 years, and while I do still like it - it's fun to think of something new and exciting.

I talked to DH and he said that if I sell things, little things here & there that I pick up at thrift stores, etc, on Ebay or Craigslist then I can keep the money to spend on whatever I want. Ie, my house! Ooooh so fun! So I was able to promo my Halloween costume ebook a little bit and ended up earning a total of $127 - woohoo! I already have ordered these sheer curtain panels for a total of $30 and they are en route to the store for pickup in a few days:

I only ordered two panels and they will hang straight down, no scarf or anything. They will look more like this:

And YES I almost bought these - they are at Pottery Barn on sale for a total of $62 shipped, ooooh I wanted to! But the JCPenny ones got really good reviews AND were just $30 shipped so I went with those instead. =)

I like the straight down hanging look - although I do think I will be buying 2 of these at Lowe's for $7 each to let them sweep to the side if I want them to:

Next, I've found on Ebay both a deep pocket white 6pc sheets set, and 2 duvet covers. Those are going to cost me $132 so I need to sell a few more things before I can order them. It's so fun to work on my room and dream about this or that I want to do. I think seeing Rachel's house made me realize that if I want my home to look a certain way, I don't have to settle for grunge and ugly just because I have lots of kids.

No, I certainly do not have alot of time to work on things either, but that's the beauty of it - it IS POSSIBLE because I can do it little by little, each day. I have pockets of time I can devote to it, like each day I've been painting one section of my room, and then the next day I go back and give that one section a 2nd coat. Then, move on to the next. It is looking so pretty, so milky white and soft, dreamy. I have yet to paint the upper half blue, that will be fun - white is getting boring, lol.

I also have plans to paint my bathroom cabinets black - it will be a nice contrast to all the white. I plan to have several black pieces in my room, mostly my bed and the bathroom cabinets - those are actually IN my room, as the actual toilet/shower is the only part that is enclosed in a different room with a door that locks. So it's a major part of my room. Currently my bathroom looks like this with washed out and faded oak, plain white laminate counters (at least they're not PINK!!), humongous mirror with no frame, and hollywood-type lights. Very much like this except just one sink:

This particular bathroom in the picture, was transformed into THIS by a Mom just like me - simple, DIY stuff done little by little. Love!

Last but not least, I want to invite you to check out my inspiration boards on Pinterest! I love love LOVE this site, and it has helped me a TON to find out what my own style is, what I naturally LOVE when I see different things. Otherwise I kind of feel lost, like I like all different looks and can't decide, or I have NO idea how to decorate. I love the LOOK, but how to incorporate it into MY home? Really overwhelming! Pinterest is a place to "pin" your favorite inspiration pictures and put them all in one place so I can at a glance, see my favorite ideas.

There is a bit of a learning curve, but I just googled "how to pinterest" when I was trying to figure it all out, and pretty quickly got set up and going. Since I have to lie down quite a bit now, in between bursts of energy where I exhaust myself, lol, I love to go on pinterest and look at what everyone else is "pinning" and it's just, well, awesome!

So without further ado, I invite you to *my* pinterest boards...and you can see what my plans are for my rooms. I took off the board & batten pictures because I am done with that now in my room - I'll most likely take the pictures off as I complete the different ideas.

Go to www.pinterest.com and "Find Friends" and you should be able to find me through Facebook, I think. Check out my "boards" in particular - the Master Bedroom. Yummmmmmy!!

Week 31, Day 1! 2 Mile walk this morning & my fave breakfast

It just feels so nice to turn the corner into a new week, you know? All of a sudden 30 weeks pregnant seems so....lame, and 31 weeks seems alot better! I'm glad to be in the 30's for sure, it's all that much closer to the end!

This morning I had my walk all mapped out to 1.5 miles, bumping it up just a quarter of a mile from the 2 previous days. It's hard to know how slow exactly to take things, improving the distance that is, when I'm this pregnant. I know you're not supposed to start new routines and stuff when you're pregnant but me, I just listen to my body and go with that. My hernia is doing fabulous so I'm glad for that, for sure.

Anyway, came home from bringing the kids to school all revved and ready to take my power walk (although to be HONEST, this 3rd day in a row of going for walks I didn't really feel like it. I HATE being put in a box of HAVING to do something the same every single day but I made myself do it anyway. My secret? Tell the little ones we're going! Then they will NOT let me not go, they're soooo excited!) and DH was still home getting ready for work...he wanted to talk about some money issues with me.

So my walk, was very reflective as my mind was busy trying to figure out ways that we can save in different areas, praying about finances and the things that God knows we need, yet we're not sure how they are going to happen (the baby's birth will be pretty expensive - they want a large amount of it up front at the birthing center, and also a van must be purchased before we can drive once this the 8th baby is born). I love walking and praying, just giving myself wholly to God once again, my time, my thoughts, my energy, my money - my children. It reminds me that He cares for me so much...and will take care of us.

It looks like...I'm going to have to wait on updating the rest of my room. I have a long list of things I want to do, to get, like all white bedding and a pretty chandelier to make it romantic...but the extra money I have saved is going to have to go to other things. It's hard for me to let go of my dream/plan, but I know God will bless me if I cheerfully give this for Him, for my family. The GOOD thing is, all the paint is purchased and ready - I already have a new light waiting to be put up over the bathroom, nothing is really going to look "unfinished" when I am done doing what I can do now. Mostly it's caulking, painting, sanding - and then cleanup. It will look really nice and still be a sanctuary for me in there, when I have the baby. And I can still dream and plan! =)

I was feeling pretty darn good coming to the 1.5 mile mark, so decided to turn into the mobile home park nearby and take another extra bit of distance on. The kids love this particular "street" even though it's kind of more like a long parking lot, because it has lots and lots of speed bumps which are apparently super fun to go over while in the stroller and little bikes. So I made it 2 miles and feel great!

The only thing that is a little bit annoying is that I can't go as fast as when I used to run, obviously, so any amount of distance is going to take longer than before - and that means time taken out of my day. =( I am finding the past couple of days, that I drop the kids off, come home & change, then embark on my walk, come home & make breakfast, eat while catching up on blogs, maybe post one myself, and by that time it's only about 20 minutes until I need to go get Marie from school. =( I miss having a good solid two hours to clean or do whatever I need in the morning!

However, I do NOT miss the feeling of despair and never-ending-days on end, struggling with emotions...I love how going for walks energizes me and most of all, puts me back in the mindset of being fit and eating well.

I'm surprised at either how out of shape I am, or how pregnant I am, because I work up a pretty good sweat and my face is flushed when I am done. I am not breathing hard really, but my heartrate is up - I feel like I got a good workout (okay, not as intense as before, but pretty good) and my legs are feeling the need to rest. It makes me feel like maybe doing those power walks IS doing something else besides just boosting my mindset.

My new favorite breakfast is this:

3 eggs w/a handful of spinach, onion powder, chives, pepper, salt, and a sprinkling of cheddar cheese - scrambled.
1 cup of cooked oatmeal with honey, frozen blueberries, cinnamon, and raisins (no milk, cooked in water).

This is pretty far from eating raw, but I am at this point just trying to eat as healthy as I can - trying to avoid sugar and flour and meat. Dairy in limited amounts, and the rest - fruits & veggies!!! We'll see where that takes me. Yesterday I made THE MOST scrumptious whole wheat bread....I seriously ate like, 4 pieces! Gotta' stay away from that today. I'm trying to be frugal and make as many snacks & bread and food in general that I can until we get paid on the 5th to stretch our money. But I have to stop eating it MYSELF!

I also made the chocolate chip breakfast cookies - I didn't realize they are made entirely of whole wheat flour! And just use honey for the sweetener...I really like this recipe. I had some leftover fig/date pieces from the food bank and I snuck those in there in place of raisins and didn't hear a peep from the kids about it. Yay! They ALL liked them, and they are very hearty and filling with just a touch of sweet. Recipe is here. The recipe calls for one cup (!!) of butter, and since we only use real butter and nothing else in our home, ouch, that gets expensive, especially when I doubled the recipe! So instead I used 1 cup of butter and 1 cup of applesauce we got from the food bank a while back, and they turned out great.

Oh yes, the food bank. Hmmmm. Yesterday didn't work out quite so well. The food bank I usually go to is open only once per month, and it's Saturday mornings. So I don't have any kids, I arrive at 8:30 and usually there is at least one other Mom from our church there so we chat and have a great time. Usually by 9:45 I'm out of there with tons of food that we use, and all for free.

This place I was trying out yesterday, is open 5 days per week and yesterday it opened at 11am. I picked Marie up at school at 11:15 and made it there by 11:25 or so. I opened the door and oh, my word. There were like THIRTY people in there, and not just that - 100% of them were obviously poor or at least didn't have good hygiene. 85% of them were overweight, unwashed hair, grimy, and in general just, ick. All eyes turned on me and I felt so out of place! Ugh. But it was for my family, and at this particular location when they call your number you get to go in the back pantry and pick out xx pieces of bread, xx cans of food, etc - and I like that idea. The one I usually go to, they pick it out FOR you, and often we end up with way too much of something we never use like cranberry sauce.

So I sat on the dirty chairs with my 3 children and big belly, I was number 36. Guess what number they were calling? ELEVEN! I sat there for maybe 20 minutes -- the kids were pretty good, they were kind of just staring at everyone, lol. But then they started to get restless and I realized that 1)it was lunchtime and 2)we could very well end up sitting there for over an hour. They were calling numbers very slowly and also, since I was one of the last numbers, what if most of the food was picked over by then?

So I ended up leaving. =( I know, but I think it was a good choice, the more peaceful one. We're not OUT of food or anything, I'm just not sure how long I can stretch what we do have, it would be nice to have other things to add in lunches, etc. I ended up at Roth's which seemed so(!!) clean and upper class compared to where I just was, and the kids got a free cookie while I stocked my cart with WIC food.

I was able to get 12 lbs of bananas, 4 boxes of cereal, 4 bottles of apple juice, 2 dozen eggs, 2 18-oz peanut butter jars, 4 loaves of bread, 2 1/4 gallons of milk - all for "free" using my WIC coupons. It is such a blessing!!! The only thing I paid for was ice cream for Rachel, since I ate hers a couple of days ago and she would not let me live that down. Oops. =) I'm going to stay out of this one, I promise. =)

Week 30, Day 7 - I can feel it! Rejuvenation!

Last night I went on a 1.25 mile power walk with the kids - ahhh they had so much fun! They were SO excited when I announced at dinner that if they cleaned up quickly we could go for a bike ride! They all rode their scooters, and I pushed the double stroller with Jack3 and Harmony2 riding inside. I think it was the perfect amount of distance - I could feel myself slowing wayyy down towards the end, and the braxton hicks kept coming on strong!

I worked up a good sweat and it just felt really awesome.

So this morning, coming home from bringing the kids to school, at 8:30 the two little ones & I embarked on yet another 1.25 mile walk, same one. It was a WONDERFUL, rejuvenating way to start my day!! Our day. The kids were super excited too, and could hardly wait for me to change into my workout clothes. This time Jack rode his little bike, he scoots along really fast on it, so it was perfect. Again, lots of braxton hicks and it just felt really wonderful to stretch my legs and get fresh air in my lungs.

Although I DO miss sprinting SO much, I can't wait to do that again. Give me about 4 months and I'll be there!

After logging my walk on the mapmyrun.com website, I realized that this really is who I have become. It gets me excited to think about walking farther tomorrow maybe, just a tiny bit - maybe bump it up to 1.5 miles. Then I can log it, and it tallies up my weekly miles. Oh, how I would LOVE to get back on track to walking at least 10 miles per week! 20 miles would be AWESOME but I think that's more feasible if I'm running...after a while it just gets reallllly long. But I do love it, and I am looking forward to getting back in the groove of long distance running after the baby comes.

I decided not to go to the gym on beautiful fall days like this - why? It's going to be 83 degrees today, sunny...the crisp morning air is warm enough to just wear a tank but yet still has a bit of a nip. Love it. So as many days as are feasible to do the whole outside thing, we will. But it's super nice to at least have the option to go to the gym for those days that are windy, rainy, cold, etc. I love that Jack gets GREAT exercise, his little legs just fly as he scoots along - I also noticed that when we got home they didn't fight at ALL. Big change from normal, for some reason having Marie gone for half the day, they're just used to her playing and directing their day, that I think they don't really know what to do.

The day stretches before me with lots of possibilities! I try to do a little bit on my room every day, it's getting to be quite overwhelming to think of all that I *want* to do in there, but if I can at least get the painting done then we can move our bed back against the wall and make it a normal looking room again. After I pick up Marie, I plan to try out a new food bank at St. Vincent de Paul...we're running low on groceries and don't get paid until the 5th so hopefully this will help if I can get creative with what we have.

Mostly it's the lunches for the kids - and the snacks. Rachel is STARVING after volleyball so I'm trying to think of nutritious things to send in her lunch but it's kind of tricky finding things she likes and also that aren't going to break the bank. So more baking is in order for sure - I have several kind of health-ish recipes that I make regularly for them that they all like....healthy "breakfast" cookies, pumpkin "cake", banana whole wheat bread, and also granola bars. The TRICK? Not eating it all myself!!!! =) =)

It all started with a bank statement online...

...when I saw to my chagrin that our local family center/gym had yet AGAIN taken out their monthly $25 membership fee from our bank via auto deduct.

Rrrrrr......

Our membership expired as of August 31st and since we barely used it I was GLAD to be done with that particular charge.

And there it was, again! Aaaagh! So I left a nice, polite message on the account services' machine letting them know the situation and that I wanted the fee to be reversed immediately, as we do.not.have.the.money for it this month.

She called me back fairly quickly and was really nice, but, I should have known. I remember this from a long time ago when we had some type of conflict with them - they simply do NOT refund money. They'll give extra months, etc, but no refund.

So.

She said that they won't cancel a membership unless we specifically request it, and that they continued our scholarship member price (full member price for our family is $100/mo) as a courtesy for a couple of months but then it'll switch over to normal prices. Yowza! Good thing I checked!

Nonetheless, the result is that we now have a gym membership through November 1st.

Hmmmmm.

My wheels started turning....

...and that's when it hit me. I'm not going to go down without a fight in this pregnancy. That's exactly what I've been struggling with - that ... that PERSON that I used to be, the one who said oh well, who cares, and ate ice cream and banana bread and didn't EVER exercise, and thus, of COURSE, gained 50 freakin' pounds during pregnancy.

And felt COMPLETELY miserable and depressed most of the time, even up to SIX MONTHS afterwards. Lots of aches, pains, heavy heavy feeling.

I swore to myself that I would never be that person again. Ever. And yet, here I find myself slipping all to soon down that slippery slope. I weighed in at 153 pounds this morning, which is a nice big fat TWENTY-SIX pound weight gain. And I still have 10 weeks to go! Which could EASILY turn into another 15 pounds the way I'm going.

I wrote yesterday (or was it this morning? Ha! Now I can't even remember) about how I miss the adrenalin rush and the endorphins that come with exercise.

Well, guess what. This whole gym membership thing, I've never really been into that scene, just cuz I'm pretty much a major homebody. To actually dress up the kids and myself, and venture out into the cold - it's just annoying to me, I'd way rather park them in front of a movie or playdough or a snack, and do my workout, shower, all while they're playing around me. But mostly it's getting them and myself out the door.

HOWEVER - wheels turning - NOW I have to go out the door THREE times per day anyways. Every single day, except weekdays. How COOL would it be, to get dressed in my workout clothes in the morning (to get my mindset working right), drive the 5 kids to their various schools, and then go straight to the gym and get in a nice fast walk while the 2 littles are in daycare? For some reason, that sounds just really appealing to me.

They haven't responded all THAT well to daycare in the past, but honestly, half of it was Marie (5) who always wanted to be with me and that kind of rubbed off on them, I think. So I am curious to see how they do, and besides, while WALKING, it's not like I'm doing sprints or something where I am into a hardcore workout and then get called to the daycare because someone is crying. I'll just have to have an open mind and know that if that does happen, that's my workout for the day.

I am hoping that this will really lift my spirits and get me back on track to fitness so that 1)I'm more in that mindset once the baby comes and ready to jump right back on the treadmill, and 2) SO THAT I EAT BETTER!!!!!!!!!

I love trying new things, it keeps me motivated and I'm thinking maybe this will do the trick, especially if I'm already dressed and ready to go in the morning.

I was ALSO thinking that maybe I will copy YOUR idea, Tereza, hee hee, and ask for a treadmill for my birthday (Nov 17, the membership is up the 1st but maybe I can finagle my way into an early bday present =). I looked some of them up on Craigslist and it looks like you can get a pretty decent one (that folds! Bonus!) for $100-$150.

I also found THIS article on what to look for when buying used, which you might be interested in Tereza, since after looking at all the listings for sale (and boy are there ALOT! I'll bet I could get closer to the $100 mark just by bargaining cuz the market seems to be flooded) my eyes were kind of crossed and it all seemed to kind of blur together. What brand? Do I really need the bells and whistles?

FIRST, though, I think I'll ask on facebook if anyone knows of one that is not being used that I can borrow - just to see if I really do in fact, use it. It would be super duper nice to have it after the baby comes, I'm thinking - since I can grab in a walk/run here or there as it fits while he is napping and the weather outside is CRAPPY.

Oh, that's another thing about the gym - it's now dark when I get up, at 6:30am. So there really is like, zero motivation for me to get up EARLIER than that just to go for a power walk --- although I might, some days, if I need to. Or go in the evenings.

Anyway, that's my little "hurrah" for today, my way of picking up my unmotivated self by my bootstraps, shaking her, and saying WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???? Don't give up now, for pete's sake!

=) =)

Week 30, Day 6 - Still plugging along

Raw is not happening - I am finding more and more with each day, as my entire body feels heavier with each moment, that I am having a harder and harder time even caring about anything. Anything fitness related, that is.

I have about 9 weeks left in this pregnancy, and I find myself thinking if I can just get to the finish line, then this will all be over. Then I can start again brand new with fasting, with working out, with eating low calorie, and get back in shape lickety split.

But then I remember that I will be trying to nurse as long as possible which of course, means no real calorie restriction, aaack! That is my magic key to getting in shape in a flash, fasting and low calorie combined with 5x per week of exercise consistently.

I am often tempted to scream at my life, to pound my head against the wall, to HATE where I am right now. That's just being real, folks. Last night I laid in bed with tears rolling down my cheeks as because I miss the old me, so so much. The non hormonal me, the one that actually WANTS to cuddle with my husband me, the one that has a positive outlook on life, who has the energy to do things. And who has a handle on eating, and on exercise, with those endorphins kicking in gear every time I workout.

We had such a good meeting last night, though, and one thing that was spoken of, was to have such an anger against self pity in my life. I find so much of the opposite of that, anger at God for giving me another pregnancy when I didn't want it, didn't plan for it, *I* had other, "better" plans for my life and for our family. I know part of this is the hormones speaking as I am struggling daily not to let depression rule my day. I am so completely and utterly overwhelmed during the day that I don't even know where to turn - it seems like the kids have launched an attack on Mom to be as difficult as possible, as soon as school started.

But I am also hearing that still, small voice that whispers to me that I am loved by Him, and that every single sigh and prayer sent to Him for desperate help, is HEARD. He hears me, and is only and very tenderly, sending me the least amount of hardship He can in order for me to be transformed into His bride. He is not trying to make my life hard, but is actually answering MY prayers to be changed and turned into someone new and good.

The other thing I heard so clearly was that it is a hard thing, a CONSCIOUS battle, to put my soul on the alter. To not live by what my SOUL is crying out that I FEEL LIKE THIS so I must act, and think, like that. It is such a freeing and liberating thing for me to know that I, as in my HEART, am not that person. I don't want to just give up and run away - that is not me. My heart is to be a good wife and mother to my children, to raise them in a pure home and give them back to God. I want to love them and play with them and laugh at the times yet to come! So I hang on to that during the day, knowing FULL WELL that this is a temporary hardship - at least I don't have cancer or something like blindness, that is always going to be there forever! Or be a widow, or something.

I turn my situation around to look at it through someone else's eyes, and I wonder what on earth I am having a hard time with, anyway. I don't weigh 185 pounds on a 5'2" body like I have in previous pregnancies at this point, I have very healthy and happy children, my husband has a good job and we are able to make ends meet with a little extra left over - something that has not been true for many years previously. I have so many friends, a wonderful family, and MOST OF ALL - I'm getting a sweet little baby out of this whole thing! Good Lord, I am such a wuss!

Tereza, I enjoyed reading your last blog post where you wrote that it was going to be a joyous day because you decided that it was going to be. It is true, there can be so many things churning around in my head, and then when I write it all out and start writing about my hope, about the good things, it really turns things right side up!

I also wanted to say to the moms out there - Tereza, Jen, and RA - all of you guys are really inspiring in how you're where I am not, you're able to work on and stay fit, eating well and exercising - and it is SUCH an inspiration to me. It's like I read your blogs and hang on to that hope that someday I will be there again, and I don't have to be stuck here pregnant and unable to shave my legs or bend down to put my shoes on, forever. LOL - I KNOW you've all been there, so you know what I mean. =)

So have a wonderful day, all of you - I'm going to go enjoy my one hour left of just having 2 at home, then will be heading out to pick up Marie from kindergarten (uh-oh...I can hear the littles getting into the chips, I better go!).

Week 29, Day 6 - Thinking about going all raw again...

The past couple of weeks have slowly but surely spiraled out of control in the eating department. I really feel so awful, too - I mean eating things that are not even remotely good for me like MAKING desserts and eating most of them! Lots of chocolate and peanut butter, to be specific.

I'm sensing the need to kick it into gear NOT so much for the sake of not gaining weight, but more for the sake of plain old being able to COPE in the next 10 weeks. Friday, starts the 10-week countdown, until the baby is due. I'll officially be 30 weeks.

From here on out, doing my normal and routine things are going to take more energy, effort, and I NEED to feel good. Today, for instance my diet has consisted of:

4 eggs w/onions, chives, cheese, and tobasco
1 cup cooked oatmeal w/blueberries, cinnamon, vanilla, honey
1 honey ham sandwich on 2 pieces ww bread w/lettuce, tomato, cheese
Cheetos, small handful
FIVE big squares of a peanut butter chocolate oatmeal squares thing I made
1 piece of crappy pepperoni pizza
2 crazy breads

Yes, and I feel it! Also, no exercise...it's just the combo of no exercise and eating badly that is really wearing on me. I need to be able to function and I'm just ... NOT, you know? I can barely even do what I need to do, let alone try to finish my room (which I really want to do, and it's driving me crazy that I can't because all I have energy to do is JUST keep the house/kids!).

So I was reading my blog for when I was pregnant with Jack, and when I had only gained 17 pounds at this point, but MOST of all - I felt so fantastic! I want to feel that again.

So today I stocked up on watermelon, peaches, oranges...I have a new orange ice cream shake I want to try, hoping it tastes similar to an orange ice cream bar. Tomorrow I am going to shoot for 100% raw, and really REMEMBER the reason why I'm doing. Not for weight, because surprisingly I really don't care about that anymore. But maybe just because I'm not actively working to keep the weight off?

I wish I could walk again, I wish I had the "umph" to walk again. Maybe tomorrow I'll take the kiddos for a bike ride in the stroller, even just a mile would be great.

I better go, this week has been INSANE with a ton of appointments that stretched looooonger than they were supposed to, driving the kids everywhere. We went to my dr's appointment which is 30 minutes away and got stuck in a traffic jam on the way home and were on the road for an HOUR. Really fun with kids who are hungry and hyper and yelling and laughing super loud.

I thought about you, Tereza, cuz sometimes you talk about your high spirited children, that's just the way they are. It was driving me up the wall so I cranked the music and rolled down the windows - at least they weren't CRYING loud, but still, sometimes shrieking and laughing is just as bad. I observed though, that 3 of them were just kind of sitting there staring out the window while the other three, HOLY MOLY! But you guys do it for like 7-8 hours?? On the road, to conference...crazy. My respect for you went really high in that moment. =)

Anyway...time to put the kids to bed and the dishwasher needs unloaded so the dishes-duty person can load it.

C ya.....oh, and I hope to weigh-in on Friday and then continue to be raw with a good positive 2nd weigh-in next Friday for week 31.

(an hour later)

Hmmmm. I find it quite interesting that as soon as I decide to go all raw, I all of a sudden find all these yummy things that are low fat, plant based vegan that sound delicious! Like if I put a restriction on myself, then I immediately want to break it! Ha ha

So after I unloaded the dishwasher I realized I needed to still put all the produce away, so as I was doing THAT, I realized that I needed to kind of clean out the produce drawers in the fridge. Noticed the not green anymore celery, and the too much zucchini I have still, that is slowly turning to seed.

So what was a girl to do? Make vegetable broth, of course! So I spent about 15 minutes cutting up chunks of onions, celery, cabbage, zukes, and added in a bunch of stuff. Which of course, I love to use for vegetable based soups which are what I love to eat in the whole low fat plant based category!

Regardless of my wistful thinking about all the things I CAN'T have while eating raw, I am determined to stay raw at least tomorrow and then take it one day at a time. Even though those low fat, plant based foods are practically one step away from eating raw, the plain fact is that I don't feel as good after eating them.

Unfortunately. I don't feel super bad, but definitely not as high, as energetic, clean, etc.

When I was pregnant with Jack, at week 30, I bought a bunch of things online that I was excited about for high health. One of them was a wheatgrass juicer which I still have, and am thinking of using again. The other two things I'd like to start doing are bee pollen and a green powder spirulina sort of thing. I'd like to do both of those again but they're spendy, especially the green powder - it's $60 for a bottle that'll last about a month, maybe a little more! Yikes! We don't have any extra money though, until the 5th of October when we get paid, so I am going to do other things that will be a step forward health-wise.

To do tomorrow:

**Buy a case of Thai coconuts
**Buy some soil and find containers to grow wheatgrass in
(Elmina, do you still have my wheatgrass juicer or did you give it back?)
**Attempt to make an orangesicle shake using frozen bananas, OJ, ice, vanilla, and flax seed
**Try oil pulling for 20 minutes with coconut oil (sesame or sunflower seed oil is ideal and YUMMY but I currently have lots of coconut oil, so that'll do for now!)
**Skin brush for detoxing/cellulite control
**Green smoothie - I have GOT to get more greens in!!!

To do hopefully this weekend:

Buy more spinach at Costco
Buy at Lifesource: bee pollen & green powder (in bulk, smaller amounts to save money)

So - tomorrow. I hope it goes well!!

Encouraged by this article on keeping my home

I think most of my readers are Mommies at home, and this article was such a nice encouragement for me to read today. It lifted my vision and reminded me of the good job I have here at home.

Read here about how we can follow the Robin's example to lead a good life here at home with our little hatched eggs. =)

http://mcguffeysworld.blogspot.com/2011/09/importance-of-homekeeping.html

Things I accomplished today..

I decided to actually write down what I do today so that I don't feel like a failure at the end of the day, in the housekeeping/Queen of my home department. =) I even had a helper at one point!

Today, I:

Cleaned & organized my bathroom sink/mirror area
Cleaned & organized the main bath sink/mirror
Made 3 loaves of banana bread for after school snack
Cleaned 4 other mirrors in the house
Tidied the main rooms: hallway, dining, family, computer, and kitchen
Unloaded, loaded, and then unloaded the dishwasher
Cleaned/shined kitchen counters & sink

Next, I tackled the infamous laundry pile. It went from this:

To this, as I sorted in piles of whose is what:To this! Yay, all clean. =)

During naptime, I caulked, spackled, and sanded for about 90 minutes. I didn't take a nap. Hmmm. Maybe that is going to come back and bite me later in the day. =( But at least I got a good portion of one wall done!

I picked the kids up from school and then went directly to the dentist while I tried my best to entertain 4 kids ages 7, 5, 3, and 2 while Rachel12 was in her appointment. TWO fits later...hmmm...I think I'm learning more & more how to maintain an even composure and WORK on not caring what people are thinking while in public!

Home again, and chilled in my room as much as I could (air conditioner is in there!) on this 97 degree day, and just kept saying over & over for the kids to shut the door as they came trooping in for their inevitable squabbles and owies and I'm hungry and I'm bored. =)

Dinner was super duper simple - I baked fresh bread in the machine, love that! And then made wraps with the stir fry (for DH) and the chicken/rice (for kids) leftovers from last night. Honey for the bread, served with cold water = good enough for all of us! =)

I'll add more to the list as I get things done! =)

Week 28, Day 6 - It Didn't Last

Go ahead, laugh.

You Mommies of lots of littles probably knew this post was coming, didn't you?

So - yesterday my house was sooo pretty and clean and I was SO beat but just love love LOVED how it looked! And then.

They came home.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha yeah right. As IF my house was going to stay that way?

What was I thinking? Or smoking?

It was so deflating, I can't even tell you....to have worked so hard all morning and finally have my house in order after such a busy summer coming & going, it felt SO wonderful to be back in a routine.

But the problem is, I was so tired from the morning working AND it was a 95 degree day in our non air-conditioned house; in the afternoon/early evening, our house is just an inferno. Dead air, no breeze. And SO grumpy - everyone, even me (have to be honest!)...it was really hard for me to see my cozy, clean home turn into a disaster zone.

Okay, not REALLY - I mean I do make them clean up their messes and such, but for instance - I didn't get to the laundry piled on the couch yesterday. BUT I did make sure it was piled nicely and not on the floor, the floor was vacuumed. Then when the kids came home, within about half an hour, there it was, spread on the floor as they'd decided to sit on it. (um...which IS what couches are for, so not really their fault =)

And dinner, always makes for lots of cleanup - and the couch cushions get all messed up and then Harmony who is two, wanted to eat her rice with a fork sitting sideways in her chair...which meant, LOTS of rice got on her lap, on her seat, and then all over the floor. Oh noooooooooooo not the floor, I just vacuumed!!!!!

LOL so you see, life happens, and I am just going to have to be okay with it. OKAY with the fact that I.AM.PREGNANT. and in my 3rd trimester so......gonna' have to give a little bit in the area of expectations and demands. And not let it totally stress me out.

So, my room, I decided needs to get done in a jiffy so that I can turn THAT room into my sanctuary. I've already told the kids that they're not allowed to use my bathroom unless someone is in the other bathroom.

(our "other bathroom" toilet has been broken for quite a long time and just got fixed (thank you DH!!) so they're all used to trekking through my bedroom to the bathroom)

I think it's good for them to respect our home of course, but I'm not going to go out and buy white couches or for that matter, NICE furniture, anytime soon, hee hee! If I think having them mess up my house makes me stressed, it'll be like, a thousand times WORSE if I spend alot of money on nice furniture!

But my bedroom, I think I can get away with it - we'll see. I am planning on white fluffy feather comforters, all white bedding. I've never had it before because it seemed like a really dumb idea with so many little ones.

BUT, I read once on a blog somewhere that a Mom loved having white (pure white, not ivory or cream) towels, linens, etc in her home because you can bleach them and make them pure white again fairly easily. So, we'll see on that!

Week 28, Day 5 - Utter BLISS!!! (pics and weigh-in)

That is, to have my house cleaned and (oh my, do I DARE say this out loud?) have it stay that way!! Yippee!!

Having 7 kids, I didn't get them all at once obviously (okay, maybe not THAT obvious cuz I suppose some people DO have semtuplets or whatever they're called), it's not like all of a sudden my house was a tornado.

It happens so gradually that you don't even really notice the change, except of course when I am physically not myself and it gets harder than normal to keep up (usually pregnant or postpartum til about 3 months).

BUT - take four of those little bodies out of the picture?? And it is WAY easier to have a clean house!!! Even though I still have 3 littles at home today ages 5, 3, and 2 - I felt like such a free woman!! Ha ha - I guess it's all how you look at it.

I do, however, have my limits - waaaaah - so upon getting home I set the littles up with some paints and started at one end of the house and worked my way to the other. I told myself JUST to tidy - pick up the dirty sandals in the bathroom from hiking with Dad yesterday, the washcloth left in the bathtub from day-before-school baths last night. Multiple blankets from sleepy kids in the living room watching a cartoon to wake up in the morning, then of course different various outfits on the floor that didn't work, or maybe pajamas from changing right there on the spot! LOL

Alas....I plain 'ol tuckered out after 1 1/2 hours of cleaning. Bending over, picking things up...my tummy is getting nice and round like a basketball, and...heavy these days! Add that to the fact that, sigh, I only made it through half of the house. =(

But that's okay - I suppose it's partly due to the fact that Rachel12 forgot her lunch so I made the extra trek out to their school to give it to her (15m round trip). Now I'm resting a bit and then will tackle the last two rooms, kitchen & computer room. Which also includes 2 1/2 loads of laundry on the couch...hmmm. This day is really flying by already...how can that be??

So you know by now probably, that this is my 3rd pregancy as a high raw vegan. Which basically means that I eat fresh fruits/veggies/nuts/seeds about 3/4 of the time, and the rest of the time it's whatever I feel like eating EXCEPT for meat. So I suppose it's really vegetarian that I am, as I do have dairy and eggs occasionally. But meat, bleh. Hardly, barely, ever.

This morning I enjoyed a big helping of watermelon, and then for lunch - something different! I kept it as absolutely healthy as I could - fresh farm eggs from my SIL, scrambled in a little olive oil with chives & onion, and a dash of milk to make it more creamy along with fresh grated pepper & sea salt. When it was on my plate and warm, I sprinkled a bit of grated cheese, maybe 2T. Then added 6-7 cherry tomatoes also from my SIL, fresh and organic! YUM! It was delish...I had 6 small eggs. Sometimes it just feels good to have a good dose of protein, you know?

My weight is surprisingly stable, considering that I've had a hard time staying away from ICE CREAM with fudge & peanut butter lately. But I'm really learning about the "dread" of how I'll feel afterwards, it truly does affect me. It's actually quite fascinating learning what makes me feel awful, what SHOULD make me feel awful but doesn't really, and what absolutely makes me feel 100% great, myself, and like I have a ton of energy.

My weigh-in for week 28 is 149, so total of 22 lbs gained so far. I practically freaked when I saw that number since last time I weighed a few weeks ago it was FIVE POUNDS LESS at 143, but....when I checked out my preggo info for my two previous healthy/lower weight gain pregnancies, I am actually BANG on, right on track!

Jack - I gained total of 22 lbs and by 28 weeks was at 15 lbs weight gain. BUT my weight was 149!! Exactly where I am now.

Harmony - I gained total of 35 lbs and by 28 weeks was at 25 lbs weight gain. My weight was 152. Pretty much where I am now.

So it's been wonderful to just kind of relax, take a break from worrying about gaining and enjoy the summer & look forward to fall and what it will bring. Not having to exercise....I know it would be better if I did, for sure - but I feel like right now is a time of rest for me. I've worked SO so so completely hard ever since Harmony was born, never taking a break! So it's nice to kind of just enjoy my family, enjoy being a Mom, a homemaker, and use my time for things like....

...my bedroom! Woooooooot it is really coming along!!! I feel (almost) like a pro when I go into Home Depot to get more boards, ha ha! You should see me, this big tummy pushing along these long 10 foot boards on a squeaky weird-looking kind of awkward "lumber" cart.

But oh, the results are so purty purty! I am loving it, although I can't wait to paint a different color than WHITE, gah, I am getting so tired of white! I snapped a picture for you just now so you can check it out

- DON'T LAUGH - my room is an absolute disaster, complete with a king size bed in the MIDDLE, ha ha! Yes, our pillows keep falling on the floor at night...but I am a woman on a MISSION, folks! I am going to get this done if it kills me. It's super fun, though, seeing it come together, and DH was sooo nice to cut the boards for me the other day so I could keep on keeping on. Doing it by hand wasn't doing very good things for my tummy.

I thought it'd also be fun to document how I look (blurry, sorry, my phone camera...aaagh! Some day I'll get a better phone camera!) now at 7 months pregnant. To ME, my tummy looks like a big round basketball! How in the world will it get even BIGGER???????

Oooooh I also picked up this GORGEOUS paint at Home Depot in their "oops" department. It is the most pretty shade of light aqua/turquoise blue, and was only $7 for a whole gallon of their premier Behr Primer & Paint in one. I've been seeing and drooling over some fantastic furniture makeovers and this color just keeps popping out at me as so so pretty. It wouldn't really match anything in my house, wah, although I would LOVE to paint the girls' room this color but I don't think Rachel would let me. She wants hers to be pink & gray which IS a pretty combo, but ohhh, this color is to DIE FOR!

Here's a sample of what I'm talking about - the girls room especially, the white & blue together is so dreamy and soothing! Maybe someday when we move, I can do the little girls' room in this combo. Or maybe a bathroom!

I struggle with the fact that I LOVE re-decorating my home, and the thought of making something beautiful with my hands really draws me. Yet, I am a Mother of soon to be 8 children and even thought I WANT to just spend all.day.long working on this or that project, my body gives out long, and I mean LONG before my brain does!

I am realizing that I am working against the clock, that every single day, little by little, my body is getting heavier and changing - bigger everything, ha ha! *love* that But also, just the fact that soon I will only be able to manage JUST taking care of my family, and then there's the big "event" of the baby being born and all that comes with it - the sleepless nights (but I *do* get to spend them cuddling a newborn so...can't really complain, lol!) and then wanting SO badly for life to get back to normal already, and it just.does.not. Not for at least 2 long months, of blurred vision and barely being able to cope with really dumb things. =)

I am thankful for this baby, I am growing in love & appreciation for this new little one, so blessed we are!! But I have to give up my "I" in it all...

I just know that come February or so, I can start tackling projects around here again and if I make sure to keep my own demands on the cross then I know God will give me the perfect amount of time for what I need to do.

Ahem.

Not "want", but "need." =) =) =)

Week 27, Day 7 - The sheer amount of work...

...overwhelms me sometimes. I find myself not wanting the kids to do ANY creative play because it just creates even more work for me. And my energy is like, zero. Like Rachel had a grand idea to take the big tarp out into the front yard and squirt soap all over it and then slide on it with the hose. Big slip n slide, super fun, right?

Except that, all the little kids want to do it too, and then they're covered in soap and wanting to walk through the house (I knew there was a reason why I didn't wash the kitchen floor today!) and a few of them didn't want to/think to change their clothes first so now I have soapy, wet clothes in various places.

And of course, the many towels that they all pull out because they're "cold" even though it's like 80 degrees outside.

It's my fault that I'm feeling so heavy and tired and overwhelmed today. I haven't been eating well and that is my fault, 100%. Ever since getting home we haven't had much fresh food in the house and we get paid on Monday so - I am kind of waiting to restock until then, but it's kind of dumb because in the meantime I'm eating Cheeto's and Subway sandwiches and ice cream smothered in peanut butter and fudge! And cheese. No wonder I feel so awful.

But it's weird, it seems like as SOON as I stop eating fresh fruits & veggies and all that jazz, it not only sapps my body of energy and makes me feel, with every step, really heavy - but it drains my spirit as well. I feel deflated and overwhelmed and look at my body and HATE.IT. that I am pregnant. Like I do not want this. Not now. Not ever.

Really weird thoughts like that - or maybe they're normal, I don't know....

But in the midst of it all, I am seeking God and learning not to live by my feelings. To stop looking down and to look UP and see the work that He is doing in my heart and rejoicing in that!