After my last post, the emotional one lol, I've purposely taken a step back from everything. Workout out, blogging, weight worries, the whole mindset of being pregnant, eating raw, EVERYTHING. Almost like a spiritual time for me, it has been really good. I have not eaten very good but at the same time I felt like I desperately needed a breather, a BREAK, from the huge stress I have created for myself to do it perfectly!
So I'm not sure exactly which direction to go at this point but I do know that regardless, I feel like CRAP eating cooked food. I don't feel *as* bad eating cooked veggies but honestly I don't feel as good as when I eat raw. But I am tired, just weary in my spirit, of worrying about gaining weight and staying fit. I want to LIVE LIFE and ENJOY this pregnancy and enjoy my kids! Enjoy this time! Instead of always ALWAYS having like this burr in my saddle sort of thing.
Not sure wherwhat to do exactly but I think I've decided not to continue working out, but to continue running. And to continue eating raw but not so anal about it, not trying to do 30 days or anything like that. And not have goals where I have to look good for a certain event, I just don't want to worry about stuff like that anymore. I just want to be ME, to be a Mom to 7 wonderful kids, you know? Be a homemaker, a wife, a Mom, a friend...and stop internalizing my life so much. Let it be about the others and making it good for them and then maybe all the rest will fall into place.
It's been nice not blogging though, cuz I don't feel pressured then either, to do it perfectly. We'll see how this next week pans out...it really is a journey!
And who knows, next week at this time I might be even more motivated than ever to kick it up a notch, but that is then, this is now - and I'm just taking it one day at a time. Most of all, I am welcoming a breather..feels really nice!
Hey there! I enjoyed reading your past few posts because I can totally relate with you. It's like up and down and up and down with the weight after each baby. I was actually really, really excited about this last baby. But right now I am feeling overwhelmed as homeschooling is about to begin. And the now nine month old is crawling everywhere (and making me work harder) and getting into everything. And then I have thoughts like, What the heck was I thinking that I wanted another one. Because we are talking about a 7th one. But you are so right. Someday we'll all look back on this and be glad we stuck it out. BUt I'm with you. I do feel tired of the fitness fight and trying to balance it with everything else that needs my attention.
ReplyDeleteI just can't give up on fitness either. I may neglect it hear and there but wanting to be fit won't go away.
You should encouraged too by the way. I ate good the first 10 weeks of my pregnancy(this last one). bad for the next 20 and then perfect the last 10 and dropped ten pounds because of it. Plus I noticed how much better I felt when I ate healthy.
Have a good one!