Week 32, Day 6 - If the ONLY thing I got done today is mating socks....

...then I can look back on my day and feel like I've accomplished something. It's kind of like those dumb little things that bother you day after day, yet it just never gets done even though it would only really take just 15 minutes out of your day to just do it!

Like touching up that one corner of the wall that the kids keep knocking into and paint has started to fleck off. Or giving the highchair a quick wash...usually all of these little things are quickly done, but add it all up together and it is so overwhelming!

Anyway, today we got paid. Hallelujah! The past couple of weeks have been interesting, practicing discipline as we literally had *no* extra money at. all. I'm going to be much more careful this month with budgeting and keeping careful track of what I spend where, so that no one category gets ballooned out of proporton when I spend.

On my list to get when we got paid, those bare essentials that *are* necessary but not like RIGHT THIS SECOND so, we have waited a good couple of months past when we should have, to do this: buy socks for the kids. It's easy to go through the summer wearing sandals, and even a month into school they're still wearing sandals, but when the fall hits it's like uh-oh. Am I really spending a whole 10 minutes of my morning just looking through the sock basket for socks for 6 kids?? REALLY??

I bought a lush and soft package of 10 pairs of gray/white socks for the boys ages 9 & 10, and anothe packge of 10 pairs of pink/white socks for the girls ages 5 & 7. Rachel12 has been telling me she has NO socks for the past couple of months so she was on my list to get as well, but when I got to the women's section there were SO many options and she is pretty picky, so I decided to just wait until I have her with me.

I'm glad I did, because when I got home and paired all the new socks and put them in the sock basket, I just winced. There were SO MANY unmatched and colored/patterned socks in there...ugh.

We basically have a family sock basket - I rarely sit and mate all the socks when I do laundry. Because only Bret & I have dresser drawers (everyone else keeps their clean laundry in the family room on a shelf in a basket, kind of like a family closet) - I just keep all the socks together. When I got sick with this pregnancy, I counted myself to be lucky just to have CLEANED the socks, lol, so they were all just put into the basket as is once cleaned, not mated.

I threw out ALL the girls' socks no matter what - some of them are purple, some pink, that they like - but my logic is this. Yes, when they're both matched up it's great but it's so much easier just to have 20 socks that MATCH each other so that when they do go through the laundry, I can simply mate them and wah-lah, no hunting for *that* perfect matching sock.

I had a big mound of misc colors and sizes when I was done - all destined for the trash. It felt so nice!!! And what else did I find? Hmmmm....about EIGHT PAIRS of socks that are Rachel's, misc colors of course...but still. I'm debating whether or not to chuck all of hers, and Harmony2's, and Jack3's to do the same...it'd just be so much simpler to have 1) pink/white for the girls, 2)white/gray for the boys, 3) Adidas for Rachel, 4)all white for Harmony, and 5) all gray for Jack.

Y'know?

I just love the idea of needing socks and there you go, there are 10 matching socks for each person. Plus, I'm also starting to gear up towards having the baby and trying to get them to do wayyyy more on their own.

I always get their clothes ready for them in the morning. ALWAYS. Just cuz, it's way easier and they're sleepy and I can hand them clean socks/underwear/shirt/pants and say HERE, get dressed. But now Grace7 lately has been whining about not being able to find her own clothes, she doesn't know what to wear...blah blah blah. I wonder if I'm creating lazy monsters by doing this?

Regardless, especially when I have househelp for the next 3 months....and esp when the baby comes, I need them to be able to get their own clothes. I guess that means weeding out the "not okay to wear in public" type clothes so that the only options they have are good clothes. Then comes teaching them how to mix & match, lol!

That's why I LOVE The Children's Place clothes, though - boys are super easy, just jeans & a shirt, any shirt. But girls, they're all about pinks and purples and flowers and stripes and orange and greens and don't forget the sparkly rainbow tights! So TCP I love because they always have the same exact colors that mix & match with ALL their shirts & bottoms. I am hoping in the next month or so, to totally revamp the 5 & 7 year old girls' wardrobes - the clothes are pretty good quality considering the prices, and they should be having some good sales pretty soon.

Since we got paid, I dropped all the kids off at school and then went to Walmart with my huge long humongous list of stuff. Every month I do one big shop at Walmart, WinCo, and Costco. That lasts us for the entire month since I buy in bulk - like today I bought two big boxes of diapers and won't have to buy more unil we get paid again. So I was able to take care of my Walmart list, which I was thankful for! Then I went to Once Upon a Child to see if they have anything on our "needs" list for the kiddos - shoes, coats, etc. I finally got smart and started writing it all down so that helps a TON when I'm faced with so many cute shoes and all of a sudden can't remember who needs what or what size and OMG these are sooooooo cute, Marie5 would LOVE them! (um....oops, when I get home, find out SHE's the one with all the shoes and Grace7 has none....)

When I got out of there it was 10:30 and I was soooo tired, I forget that my body can't take much these days, this babeeeee is getting heavyeeeeee! I got gas and was contemplating running home to change a diaper/put the groceries away/then get Marie at 11:15 but got a call from Isaac9: he's convinced he has a sore throat AND a fever and can I come get him? Argh...their school is 15 minutes away round trip...! So I did that, then got Marie, and got them lunch when we got home, then mated the socks.

But now I have a million bags sitting on my counter to be put away and the house is still in dire need of the daily pick-up-from-the-craziness-of-morning. So even though I DID get the socks done, you'd never know I even did anything! But as long as in my head, I know I got that little project done then I think I'm okay - I feel like I accomplished something....

PS I'm so excited, I haven't sold anything on Ebay in a loooooong time but since DH said whatever extra money *I* make I can use for my room, I put a few things up. One of them is a pair of jeans I bought for Grace7 a few weeks ago at Once Upon a Child for $6.50, cuz they had diamonds on them. But no elastic button on the inside waist so she doesn't like them...and I happened to notice that they are the "Miss Me" brand which my sister Victo.ria who is 16, is ga ga over - apparently they're like $100+ at ,pupscale stores. Onto Ebay they went and they just sold for $41! Yay!
My "Miss Me" Jeans Auction

Week 32, Day 5 - Sooooo tired today!

You know those days where you wake up so refreshed and feel like it's going to be a GREAT day with lots of plans to get so much done??

Today is not one of those days.

I had a hard time sleeping last night, and basically woke up at 5am and tossed & turned, thinking about this or that. At one point I sat up and was like OMG! I totally forgot to put the tooth fairy money under Isaac9's pillow...and he even TOLD me before he went to bed that I should just give him the money then because I always forget, lol. I've kind of given up on the whole mystified look when they talk about the tooth fairy, pretending I have no idea what they're talking about...at least, with the bigger kids. Kids are just way too smart these days.

I said no way, go to bed, and if I forget I'll give it to you in the morning. =) When I slipped it under his pillow of COURSE he woke right up and was like, "What, Mom?" I just pretended that he'd been having a bad dream and I was checking on him to see if he was ok. And then, of course, he totally forgot all about it in the morning and it's still there under his pillow.

Anyway, today I am bleery eyed. And feeling not motivated at all. I have like 4 phone calls to make and I HATE making phone calls, to make appointments and all that. I rear ended a guy very gently on Sunday at about 8mph because Rachel put some shoes with a BUG that crawled out up by my seat when I was driving - she was showing them to me. Yep. Tapped that Honda Accord with my Expedition. Ugh.

NO damage to my car of course, but his got bent up a bit - rrr. Anyway so I need to call the insurance company...and also the dentist to make an appointment for Grace7 who keeps saying her tooth is hurting her. And to reschedule my dentist appt for Friday because DH or Rachel (my babysitters) will not be available to watch the kiddos. I also need to make an appt to get an eye exam for me before the baby comes so I can stock up on contacts - I only have 3 month's worth left and I don't really want to tackle going to appt's with a new baby.

AND - since we finally finally get paid tomorrow (we've been living on rice & beans, beans & rice and spending NO money for the last 2 weeks mostly due to poor budget planning on my part) I can now call the air vent guy to come clean them out & the dryer as well...before we have to start turning on the heater. Our dryer takes 4 cycles to dry and I suspect a clogged vent so that will be nice. Not $75 nice, but at least I can get the laundry done in a flash! I always hated that last winter when the kids would go out in the snow and come trooping in with all their wet clothes, only to want to go back out an hour later. Aaack! Hard to keep up with drying the snowsuits & coats in between, esp with a bum dryer.

Every morning seems the same. I think that's why I love working on my room little by little because then I see some progress, some change, in my life. Before I got pregnant the change I worked towards was in the way I was able to transform my body - that was fun, to see new numbers on the scale, to see new defined muscle, to FEEL stronger and feel young and in shape. Now I just feel old. Really old.

Sometimes it can be tempting to be disheartened by my life. By the mundane-ness of it. By cleaning up the same exact messes every morning - clearing the cereal bowls, picking up pajamas cast-offs, cleaning each room one by one with the little things that are just THERE, no idea how they got there or why. I suppose the change is that I can clearly feel the difference between being 8 months pregnant and 6 months pregnant. My stomach is definitely heavier, so my back hurts more - and all of it becomes a little harder, picking up the rooms each morning, etc.

But the other thing I know and realize, is that when I am living my life with the desire to have the ideal life and have fun, or an easy life, then I can get pretty grumpy. Cuz when you think about it, 7 kids ages 12 & under plus being pregnant, is in no way FUN. At least, what most people think is fun - it's alot of work. But the key is, that when I live my life to please God? Ohhhh boy, what a different story THAT is! What a happiness and freedom that brings, to live to do everything to please Him. Love that key to life that I've been able to see!

Guess it's time to get up and work - sooooo tired but I know a nap will only make it worse, at least, at least, a nap right now.

Week 32, Day 2 - Apparently mind tricks DO work!

So.

This morning I felt very lazy. I mean after all, it's Saturday morning, right? I've spent 5 days in a row dutifully turning out the lights between 10:30-11pm and getting up at 6:25 to work at a fairly fast pace to get all the lunches made, everyone's clothes lined up, get everyone up & breakfast made, fix the girls' hair, then get 5 of them out the door and drive to 2 different schools...and usually early, to boot! Yay! It goes pretty smoothly except for the occasional fit about clothes or hair (why is it always the girls...rarely the boys?? LOL!) but the main thing is that when I get back home with just the 2 little ones, I am TIRED already!!

By the time we get home at around 8:30, I've been up & at it for 2 solid hours with no break and as I survey the disaster left behind I find myself wishing I would get up even earlier so I could get THEM up earlier so they could have more time to put away their pajamas and put their blankets away that they always haul into the living room to sleepily watch a movie for a few minutes before their day begins. And put their cereal bowls away...

So this morning I just wanted to lie in bed BUT it is a big work party day at Macleay, so after snuggling & chatting with DH for a bit (who has been away for the past 2 days and came home late last night) I had to get the 4 older ones ready and off to Macleay with DH.

Then, I just went...back to bed. I know, BAD Mommy!

But the 3 who stayed home, 5,3,2 - were watching a movie and I wanted to relax! So then, I had 2 bowls of cereal (BAD Mommy again, it ALWAYS makes me feel ill...but it's so yum! I think it's a nostalgic food for me, I grew up eating it every morning) and decided to just hang out in my room and do what I do every time I lie down - surf Pinterest and look at different decor blogs and get super inspired and excited to do TONS of things I basically can't do because I'm too pregnant and tired after doing my NORMAL duties, to even attempt more. Blah. But anyway...

Oh my good Lord the house was messy, especially after cuddling with DH while the kids got themselves up & ate cereal and played and changed their clothes...all the stuff I usually do directing them to PICK UP THEIR MESSES didn't happen cuz, y'know, I was with my beloved! MUCH more important. =)

So I decided to do, some mind tricks. I told myself that even though I felt like crap (my dumb fault = cereal) I was going to tackle the girls' room and when I was done, when it was ALL done, I would lie down for 15 minutes. Then I would get back up and do another task.

Woohoo, you would not BELIEVE the amount of work I have already accomplished today!!!! The girls' room was a complete and total MESS, I actually got a huge garbage sack full of stuff for Goodwill out of their room. Hee hee. Too bad DD5 was home cuz she kept on pulling stuffed animals and purses and little insignificant toys and summer shoes too scuffed to sell, OUT as fast as I could put them in! That's why I like to do that sort of thing when they're all gone. LOL

It looks awesome in there now, and I even moved the crib over to a different wall just to, you know, make it look different and fun. Funny how the kids think you are playing with them when you sit on the floor and clean their room (cuz for me, these days, everything happens while SITTING on the floor - I feel like each day I have a max amount of bending over that is allotted to me each day and if I exceed that, oh boy...so I ration it out as best as I can!). They were excitedly exclaiming over lost treasures, and all 3 of them were in the crib at one point having loads of fun. Too cute.

After their room was done, I had to make lunch real quick, they were starting to root around in the fridge = sure sign! So THEN I was able to lay down and surf some blogs - I found a kitchen that looks almost identical to ours except for the window above the sink (ooooh I wish I had a window to dress up, our kitchen is more like a "hallway" type of kitchen that leads into the family room so, no window for us) and the darker counters.

We have the same exact tile, and the same oak cabinets basically. I saved it on Pinterest so I could show DH - he's a little skeptical of painting over the wood.

Before:

And the after:

Isn't it just so pretty?!!! Even the rug, just love it. Oh! The main thing I wanted to show him, too, is that is very close to the color I want to paint our entire living area in - a gray color with lots & lots of white, and then accents of robin's egg blue and sage green/tan. It looks fabo with the white, doesn't it??

So back to cleaning, once I'd had my little break I tackled the BOYS room - again, another disaster, totally and completely. I switched things up a bit in there too for a little bit of fun and newness, and vacuumed it, the whole shebang. I was going to rest, but as I was putting the vacuum cleaner away I was like hmm...I should just vacuum the HALLWAY since both those rooms are clean now and the stuff in the hallway is going to get tracked into the rooms.

I vacuumed near my bedroom door and thought hmmm....I think I'll just quickly vacuum in there as well, just a bit. Then when I got done with the hallway, which leads to the CARPETED dining room (yes, LOVE that) I decided to just tackle that too. Which means cleaning up that room real quick AND might as well clean off/wipe the table & highchair from lunch...! Then I sat on the floor and picked up all the DVD's and candy wrappers from last night's movie night in the LIVING room, and vacuumed in there too. Oh, and actually MOVED one of the big cozy comfy chairs to vacuum under.

BOOyah! So take THAT, lazy self!

I was eyeing the entryway's need to be swept desperately, and also the kitchen, AND the bathroom - I could get all 3 of those done in about 8 minutes if I did it quickly. But then I said no, I better go lay down...

...and I just now got up after sitting here typing this and I am definitely STIFF and sore. Aw....lame. But that's okay, it really is a weird feeling though, to have SO MUCH in my head that I want to do - but my body is just totally resistant. I get these hard contractions when I vacuum and well, it's just an interesting time I'm in. I lay there in my bed and daydream about all the things I can do once I have this baby out and it's 2-3 months old.

But THEN I wonder if all of this is just totally nesting and once I actually have the baby and am in that whole lack of sleep mode...will I wonder what in the world got into me THINKING I could actually do things? Or even want to do them?

I felt like grabbing a paintbrush and taking it to the girls' room - their walls are purple on the bottom, and pink on the top - we're talking bubblegum pink. I think it's pretty, but not in it's current state - the border that was supposed to bridge the two colors never got put up, wah. And it's been 7 years since it was painted and has many MANY nicks and holes and all sorts of stuff - scribbles, even some Disney princess rub-on's that are halfway off I did when Rachel was 5
(she's 12 now and well, doesn't appreciate them as much anymore, ha ha!). THEN, the kids really REALLY wanted to help me paint MY room so I said no (this was about a month ago) but I let them paint with primer in their room. So about 1/8th of the wall is covered in white primer.

I wish I could just tackle their room, and the boys' room too...and just everywhere. My mind goes way faster than I could ever keep up!

Guess that's it for now - I still have a super duper messy kitchen and family room to tackle, including a humongous clothes monster on the couch that keeps on getting knocked onto the floor by kids who think it's fun to jump on it. Rrrr. It just takes my DOING it, so maybe after naps? I think I need to take a good long rest now, my back and achin' bones are talking to me. =)

Week 31, Day 6 - Pinterest, a Beautiful Home, and other thoughts...

I hope to make this quick because my house needs a tidying something fierce! I don't want to get stuck on here. =)

So - my clothes are getting too tight. I need to do some serious shopping. My shirts are getting too tight in the tummy which is good, except that I also wonder if I'm gaining back fat at the same time in addition to a growing belly...rrrr. My bottoms are also getting tight, unfortunately - which means I am gaining weight. But honestly....it's not really that big of a deal to me, I know how to get the weight off and I am looking forward to jumping in head first with that hopefully beginning February 1st. So it kind of gives me a little bit of leeway to hang out and enjoy the pregnancy (OMG did I just say enjoy the pregnancy?? Ha!).

Walking lasted 5 days and then when the rain hit, I was no longer motivated. But mostly, and to be completely honest - I really REALLY needed that motivation to jumpstart me out of my state of boohoo and poor me and life sucks. And it worked! I had goals again (of walking) and staying fit and I had sort of something to do with myself, instead of just waiting for....the END to come.

Then, on Sunday to be specific, I went to a baby shower for my sister in law who is due a week from tomorrow!!! LUCKY her! The shower was at Rachel T's house - I'm sure some of you ladies have been there, but *I* never have.

Given my current state of obsession (which is necessary, I believe God sends us these obsession-like tendencies so that we'll get the job done!! Same goes with fitness!) with making my home into a place that is lovely and welcoming....I was so completely WOWED by her house that I could not get over it. Even ask DH, I was talking about her home for like, the rest of the night. Ha ha!

It was GORGEOUS!!!!!! Like, everything I have been dreaming of and wishing I could do with our house. But the thing is, I've been in beautiful homes before (Becky T, Tina B, and Susan B, love their homes!) BUT never before has it seemed so feasible for ME to make MY home into what I consider to be a beautiful home. Specifically the interior.

I am not talking about the structure of the home itself - in my opinion, everyone is ALREADY living in a gorgeous home - they just have to MAKE IT SO!

And what inspired me SO completely was when I came to the realization that she along with her husband, had actually purchased an older 80's home and everything that I saw that was definitely NOT older 80's, had been done by THEM! Little by little, as they were able to, as she found stuff on craigslist, as she slowly put together the most beautiful decor I've ever seen in person.

The cabinets in her kitchen were painted white, so pretty and so bright! You could see where they had added crown molding to the top of the cabinets and soft lights behind there - the nail holes were still present and waiting to be filled in. White? Yes, WHITE. Very similar to this kitchen...isn't it pretty?

Just about everything in her house was WHITE - and actually it is quite interesting because if you think about it, white is not very practical with little ones - and she has THREE ages 7, 5, and 3. But I suppose that in a way it makes it easier to SEE the dirt, so you can wipe it off. OR even touch it up since it's, well, WHITE.

I don't know if it is a pregnancy thing (I really hope not!!) but I am currently obsessed with WHITE in my home! I could not believe how beautiful it made her house, especially when she hung sheer curtains from her bay windows, and the sun was streaming in as we were sitting there sharing bits of advice about babies. Her COUCHES were white too and at one point I was like um...Okay, I have to know?? HOW do you keep these clean??

She was like oh, it's no problem - they are from Ikea, and covered in Ikea's slipcovers, and the slipcover unzips and can be thrown in the wash and bleached white again. Hmmm. That concept is pretty much what I've gone with, in my reasoning behind getting all white bedding. As long as it is removable and able to wash, I love the idea! I think though, that it would be perfect for a room that doesn't get much use, as in a separate more formal and beautiful living room...but it really has opened up a whole new world for me where things used to have to always be black or brown when you have lots of kids. PAINT, in particular, can always be repainted!

Her color scheme was GRAY on the walls, as well. It looked SO beautiful and calming and serene, I don't think I ever would have seen gray as an option to paint my entire main living area. It seems like it would be depressing??? But with all the white, it was not, it was beautiful. I'm actually thinking about doing the same in my house - but I don't know if I'm brave enough. It is a very far cry from my current, more Italian warm colors of gold, olive, burgundy decor. It would be a humongous MAJOR change for me but I really love the idea of white and who knows, maybe it IS time for a change. After all I've had this type of decor for the entire time I've been married, 14 years, and while I do still like it - it's fun to think of something new and exciting.

I talked to DH and he said that if I sell things, little things here & there that I pick up at thrift stores, etc, on Ebay or Craigslist then I can keep the money to spend on whatever I want. Ie, my house! Ooooh so fun! So I was able to promo my Halloween costume ebook a little bit and ended up earning a total of $127 - woohoo! I already have ordered these sheer curtain panels for a total of $30 and they are en route to the store for pickup in a few days:

I only ordered two panels and they will hang straight down, no scarf or anything. They will look more like this:

And YES I almost bought these - they are at Pottery Barn on sale for a total of $62 shipped, ooooh I wanted to! But the JCPenny ones got really good reviews AND were just $30 shipped so I went with those instead. =)

I like the straight down hanging look - although I do think I will be buying 2 of these at Lowe's for $7 each to let them sweep to the side if I want them to:

Next, I've found on Ebay both a deep pocket white 6pc sheets set, and 2 duvet covers. Those are going to cost me $132 so I need to sell a few more things before I can order them. It's so fun to work on my room and dream about this or that I want to do. I think seeing Rachel's house made me realize that if I want my home to look a certain way, I don't have to settle for grunge and ugly just because I have lots of kids.

No, I certainly do not have alot of time to work on things either, but that's the beauty of it - it IS POSSIBLE because I can do it little by little, each day. I have pockets of time I can devote to it, like each day I've been painting one section of my room, and then the next day I go back and give that one section a 2nd coat. Then, move on to the next. It is looking so pretty, so milky white and soft, dreamy. I have yet to paint the upper half blue, that will be fun - white is getting boring, lol.

I also have plans to paint my bathroom cabinets black - it will be a nice contrast to all the white. I plan to have several black pieces in my room, mostly my bed and the bathroom cabinets - those are actually IN my room, as the actual toilet/shower is the only part that is enclosed in a different room with a door that locks. So it's a major part of my room. Currently my bathroom looks like this with washed out and faded oak, plain white laminate counters (at least they're not PINK!!), humongous mirror with no frame, and hollywood-type lights. Very much like this except just one sink:

This particular bathroom in the picture, was transformed into THIS by a Mom just like me - simple, DIY stuff done little by little. Love!

Last but not least, I want to invite you to check out my inspiration boards on Pinterest! I love love LOVE this site, and it has helped me a TON to find out what my own style is, what I naturally LOVE when I see different things. Otherwise I kind of feel lost, like I like all different looks and can't decide, or I have NO idea how to decorate. I love the LOOK, but how to incorporate it into MY home? Really overwhelming! Pinterest is a place to "pin" your favorite inspiration pictures and put them all in one place so I can at a glance, see my favorite ideas.

There is a bit of a learning curve, but I just googled "how to pinterest" when I was trying to figure it all out, and pretty quickly got set up and going. Since I have to lie down quite a bit now, in between bursts of energy where I exhaust myself, lol, I love to go on pinterest and look at what everyone else is "pinning" and it's just, well, awesome!

So without further ado, I invite you to *my* pinterest boards...and you can see what my plans are for my rooms. I took off the board & batten pictures because I am done with that now in my room - I'll most likely take the pictures off as I complete the different ideas.

Go to www.pinterest.com and "Find Friends" and you should be able to find me through Facebook, I think. Check out my "boards" in particular - the Master Bedroom. Yummmmmmy!!

Week 31, Day 1! 2 Mile walk this morning & my fave breakfast

It just feels so nice to turn the corner into a new week, you know? All of a sudden 30 weeks pregnant seems so....lame, and 31 weeks seems alot better! I'm glad to be in the 30's for sure, it's all that much closer to the end!

This morning I had my walk all mapped out to 1.5 miles, bumping it up just a quarter of a mile from the 2 previous days. It's hard to know how slow exactly to take things, improving the distance that is, when I'm this pregnant. I know you're not supposed to start new routines and stuff when you're pregnant but me, I just listen to my body and go with that. My hernia is doing fabulous so I'm glad for that, for sure.

Anyway, came home from bringing the kids to school all revved and ready to take my power walk (although to be HONEST, this 3rd day in a row of going for walks I didn't really feel like it. I HATE being put in a box of HAVING to do something the same every single day but I made myself do it anyway. My secret? Tell the little ones we're going! Then they will NOT let me not go, they're soooo excited!) and DH was still home getting ready for work...he wanted to talk about some money issues with me.

So my walk, was very reflective as my mind was busy trying to figure out ways that we can save in different areas, praying about finances and the things that God knows we need, yet we're not sure how they are going to happen (the baby's birth will be pretty expensive - they want a large amount of it up front at the birthing center, and also a van must be purchased before we can drive once this the 8th baby is born). I love walking and praying, just giving myself wholly to God once again, my time, my thoughts, my energy, my money - my children. It reminds me that He cares for me so much...and will take care of us.

It looks like...I'm going to have to wait on updating the rest of my room. I have a long list of things I want to do, to get, like all white bedding and a pretty chandelier to make it romantic...but the extra money I have saved is going to have to go to other things. It's hard for me to let go of my dream/plan, but I know God will bless me if I cheerfully give this for Him, for my family. The GOOD thing is, all the paint is purchased and ready - I already have a new light waiting to be put up over the bathroom, nothing is really going to look "unfinished" when I am done doing what I can do now. Mostly it's caulking, painting, sanding - and then cleanup. It will look really nice and still be a sanctuary for me in there, when I have the baby. And I can still dream and plan! =)

I was feeling pretty darn good coming to the 1.5 mile mark, so decided to turn into the mobile home park nearby and take another extra bit of distance on. The kids love this particular "street" even though it's kind of more like a long parking lot, because it has lots and lots of speed bumps which are apparently super fun to go over while in the stroller and little bikes. So I made it 2 miles and feel great!

The only thing that is a little bit annoying is that I can't go as fast as when I used to run, obviously, so any amount of distance is going to take longer than before - and that means time taken out of my day. =( I am finding the past couple of days, that I drop the kids off, come home & change, then embark on my walk, come home & make breakfast, eat while catching up on blogs, maybe post one myself, and by that time it's only about 20 minutes until I need to go get Marie from school. =( I miss having a good solid two hours to clean or do whatever I need in the morning!

However, I do NOT miss the feeling of despair and never-ending-days on end, struggling with emotions...I love how going for walks energizes me and most of all, puts me back in the mindset of being fit and eating well.

I'm surprised at either how out of shape I am, or how pregnant I am, because I work up a pretty good sweat and my face is flushed when I am done. I am not breathing hard really, but my heartrate is up - I feel like I got a good workout (okay, not as intense as before, but pretty good) and my legs are feeling the need to rest. It makes me feel like maybe doing those power walks IS doing something else besides just boosting my mindset.

My new favorite breakfast is this:

3 eggs w/a handful of spinach, onion powder, chives, pepper, salt, and a sprinkling of cheddar cheese - scrambled.
1 cup of cooked oatmeal with honey, frozen blueberries, cinnamon, and raisins (no milk, cooked in water).

This is pretty far from eating raw, but I am at this point just trying to eat as healthy as I can - trying to avoid sugar and flour and meat. Dairy in limited amounts, and the rest - fruits & veggies!!! We'll see where that takes me. Yesterday I made THE MOST scrumptious whole wheat bread....I seriously ate like, 4 pieces! Gotta' stay away from that today. I'm trying to be frugal and make as many snacks & bread and food in general that I can until we get paid on the 5th to stretch our money. But I have to stop eating it MYSELF!

I also made the chocolate chip breakfast cookies - I didn't realize they are made entirely of whole wheat flour! And just use honey for the sweetener...I really like this recipe. I had some leftover fig/date pieces from the food bank and I snuck those in there in place of raisins and didn't hear a peep from the kids about it. Yay! They ALL liked them, and they are very hearty and filling with just a touch of sweet. Recipe is here. The recipe calls for one cup (!!) of butter, and since we only use real butter and nothing else in our home, ouch, that gets expensive, especially when I doubled the recipe! So instead I used 1 cup of butter and 1 cup of applesauce we got from the food bank a while back, and they turned out great.

Oh yes, the food bank. Hmmmm. Yesterday didn't work out quite so well. The food bank I usually go to is open only once per month, and it's Saturday mornings. So I don't have any kids, I arrive at 8:30 and usually there is at least one other Mom from our church there so we chat and have a great time. Usually by 9:45 I'm out of there with tons of food that we use, and all for free.

This place I was trying out yesterday, is open 5 days per week and yesterday it opened at 11am. I picked Marie up at school at 11:15 and made it there by 11:25 or so. I opened the door and oh, my word. There were like THIRTY people in there, and not just that - 100% of them were obviously poor or at least didn't have good hygiene. 85% of them were overweight, unwashed hair, grimy, and in general just, ick. All eyes turned on me and I felt so out of place! Ugh. But it was for my family, and at this particular location when they call your number you get to go in the back pantry and pick out xx pieces of bread, xx cans of food, etc - and I like that idea. The one I usually go to, they pick it out FOR you, and often we end up with way too much of something we never use like cranberry sauce.

So I sat on the dirty chairs with my 3 children and big belly, I was number 36. Guess what number they were calling? ELEVEN! I sat there for maybe 20 minutes -- the kids were pretty good, they were kind of just staring at everyone, lol. But then they started to get restless and I realized that 1)it was lunchtime and 2)we could very well end up sitting there for over an hour. They were calling numbers very slowly and also, since I was one of the last numbers, what if most of the food was picked over by then?

So I ended up leaving. =( I know, but I think it was a good choice, the more peaceful one. We're not OUT of food or anything, I'm just not sure how long I can stretch what we do have, it would be nice to have other things to add in lunches, etc. I ended up at Roth's which seemed so(!!) clean and upper class compared to where I just was, and the kids got a free cookie while I stocked my cart with WIC food.

I was able to get 12 lbs of bananas, 4 boxes of cereal, 4 bottles of apple juice, 2 dozen eggs, 2 18-oz peanut butter jars, 4 loaves of bread, 2 1/4 gallons of milk - all for "free" using my WIC coupons. It is such a blessing!!! The only thing I paid for was ice cream for Rachel, since I ate hers a couple of days ago and she would not let me live that down. Oops. =) I'm going to stay out of this one, I promise. =)

Week 30, Day 7 - I can feel it! Rejuvenation!

Last night I went on a 1.25 mile power walk with the kids - ahhh they had so much fun! They were SO excited when I announced at dinner that if they cleaned up quickly we could go for a bike ride! They all rode their scooters, and I pushed the double stroller with Jack3 and Harmony2 riding inside. I think it was the perfect amount of distance - I could feel myself slowing wayyy down towards the end, and the braxton hicks kept coming on strong!

I worked up a good sweat and it just felt really awesome.

So this morning, coming home from bringing the kids to school, at 8:30 the two little ones & I embarked on yet another 1.25 mile walk, same one. It was a WONDERFUL, rejuvenating way to start my day!! Our day. The kids were super excited too, and could hardly wait for me to change into my workout clothes. This time Jack rode his little bike, he scoots along really fast on it, so it was perfect. Again, lots of braxton hicks and it just felt really wonderful to stretch my legs and get fresh air in my lungs.

Although I DO miss sprinting SO much, I can't wait to do that again. Give me about 4 months and I'll be there!

After logging my walk on the mapmyrun.com website, I realized that this really is who I have become. It gets me excited to think about walking farther tomorrow maybe, just a tiny bit - maybe bump it up to 1.5 miles. Then I can log it, and it tallies up my weekly miles. Oh, how I would LOVE to get back on track to walking at least 10 miles per week! 20 miles would be AWESOME but I think that's more feasible if I'm running...after a while it just gets reallllly long. But I do love it, and I am looking forward to getting back in the groove of long distance running after the baby comes.

I decided not to go to the gym on beautiful fall days like this - why? It's going to be 83 degrees today, sunny...the crisp morning air is warm enough to just wear a tank but yet still has a bit of a nip. Love it. So as many days as are feasible to do the whole outside thing, we will. But it's super nice to at least have the option to go to the gym for those days that are windy, rainy, cold, etc. I love that Jack gets GREAT exercise, his little legs just fly as he scoots along - I also noticed that when we got home they didn't fight at ALL. Big change from normal, for some reason having Marie gone for half the day, they're just used to her playing and directing their day, that I think they don't really know what to do.

The day stretches before me with lots of possibilities! I try to do a little bit on my room every day, it's getting to be quite overwhelming to think of all that I *want* to do in there, but if I can at least get the painting done then we can move our bed back against the wall and make it a normal looking room again. After I pick up Marie, I plan to try out a new food bank at St. Vincent de Paul...we're running low on groceries and don't get paid until the 5th so hopefully this will help if I can get creative with what we have.

Mostly it's the lunches for the kids - and the snacks. Rachel is STARVING after volleyball so I'm trying to think of nutritious things to send in her lunch but it's kind of tricky finding things she likes and also that aren't going to break the bank. So more baking is in order for sure - I have several kind of health-ish recipes that I make regularly for them that they all like....healthy "breakfast" cookies, pumpkin "cake", banana whole wheat bread, and also granola bars. The TRICK? Not eating it all myself!!!! =) =)

It all started with a bank statement online...

...when I saw to my chagrin that our local family center/gym had yet AGAIN taken out their monthly $25 membership fee from our bank via auto deduct.

Rrrrrr......

Our membership expired as of August 31st and since we barely used it I was GLAD to be done with that particular charge.

And there it was, again! Aaaagh! So I left a nice, polite message on the account services' machine letting them know the situation and that I wanted the fee to be reversed immediately, as we do.not.have.the.money for it this month.

She called me back fairly quickly and was really nice, but, I should have known. I remember this from a long time ago when we had some type of conflict with them - they simply do NOT refund money. They'll give extra months, etc, but no refund.

So.

She said that they won't cancel a membership unless we specifically request it, and that they continued our scholarship member price (full member price for our family is $100/mo) as a courtesy for a couple of months but then it'll switch over to normal prices. Yowza! Good thing I checked!

Nonetheless, the result is that we now have a gym membership through November 1st.

Hmmmmm.

My wheels started turning....

...and that's when it hit me. I'm not going to go down without a fight in this pregnancy. That's exactly what I've been struggling with - that ... that PERSON that I used to be, the one who said oh well, who cares, and ate ice cream and banana bread and didn't EVER exercise, and thus, of COURSE, gained 50 freakin' pounds during pregnancy.

And felt COMPLETELY miserable and depressed most of the time, even up to SIX MONTHS afterwards. Lots of aches, pains, heavy heavy feeling.

I swore to myself that I would never be that person again. Ever. And yet, here I find myself slipping all to soon down that slippery slope. I weighed in at 153 pounds this morning, which is a nice big fat TWENTY-SIX pound weight gain. And I still have 10 weeks to go! Which could EASILY turn into another 15 pounds the way I'm going.

I wrote yesterday (or was it this morning? Ha! Now I can't even remember) about how I miss the adrenalin rush and the endorphins that come with exercise.

Well, guess what. This whole gym membership thing, I've never really been into that scene, just cuz I'm pretty much a major homebody. To actually dress up the kids and myself, and venture out into the cold - it's just annoying to me, I'd way rather park them in front of a movie or playdough or a snack, and do my workout, shower, all while they're playing around me. But mostly it's getting them and myself out the door.

HOWEVER - wheels turning - NOW I have to go out the door THREE times per day anyways. Every single day, except weekdays. How COOL would it be, to get dressed in my workout clothes in the morning (to get my mindset working right), drive the 5 kids to their various schools, and then go straight to the gym and get in a nice fast walk while the 2 littles are in daycare? For some reason, that sounds just really appealing to me.

They haven't responded all THAT well to daycare in the past, but honestly, half of it was Marie (5) who always wanted to be with me and that kind of rubbed off on them, I think. So I am curious to see how they do, and besides, while WALKING, it's not like I'm doing sprints or something where I am into a hardcore workout and then get called to the daycare because someone is crying. I'll just have to have an open mind and know that if that does happen, that's my workout for the day.

I am hoping that this will really lift my spirits and get me back on track to fitness so that 1)I'm more in that mindset once the baby comes and ready to jump right back on the treadmill, and 2) SO THAT I EAT BETTER!!!!!!!!!

I love trying new things, it keeps me motivated and I'm thinking maybe this will do the trick, especially if I'm already dressed and ready to go in the morning.

I was ALSO thinking that maybe I will copy YOUR idea, Tereza, hee hee, and ask for a treadmill for my birthday (Nov 17, the membership is up the 1st but maybe I can finagle my way into an early bday present =). I looked some of them up on Craigslist and it looks like you can get a pretty decent one (that folds! Bonus!) for $100-$150.

I also found THIS article on what to look for when buying used, which you might be interested in Tereza, since after looking at all the listings for sale (and boy are there ALOT! I'll bet I could get closer to the $100 mark just by bargaining cuz the market seems to be flooded) my eyes were kind of crossed and it all seemed to kind of blur together. What brand? Do I really need the bells and whistles?

FIRST, though, I think I'll ask on facebook if anyone knows of one that is not being used that I can borrow - just to see if I really do in fact, use it. It would be super duper nice to have it after the baby comes, I'm thinking - since I can grab in a walk/run here or there as it fits while he is napping and the weather outside is CRAPPY.

Oh, that's another thing about the gym - it's now dark when I get up, at 6:30am. So there really is like, zero motivation for me to get up EARLIER than that just to go for a power walk --- although I might, some days, if I need to. Or go in the evenings.

Anyway, that's my little "hurrah" for today, my way of picking up my unmotivated self by my bootstraps, shaking her, and saying WHAT ARE YOU THINKING???? Don't give up now, for pete's sake!

=) =)