Encouraging Myself

This is an email I wrote to a friend who is pregnant with her 10th child and due just 2 weeks before me. This is the spirit that I want to have! Not the spirit of the last blog post I wrote - that is how I am FEELING today, but this, THIS is where my heart is. Full of faith for the work God is doing in my life!

Hi again! How are you doing this week? I've been thinking of you often!

I'm curious if that lady who had 11 kids and no morning sickness from doing the juice fast & raw for a period of time, ever HAD morning sickness to begin with? Like I had 5 pregnancies where I ate normal food and felt awful, gained 50 pounds, etc. Then the last 2 pregnancies where I hate 85% raw food and felt AMAZING and gained 20-25 lbs. I did have morning sickness still but it was probably about 1/3 as bad. So I can see the two differences very well.

I just had to share that I am so thankful for you. In particular, I am so thankful for sisters who are like minded and are in the same battle!! Last night at the youth meeting, they talked about how "we are all going through the same things, you are not alone!".

I have to admit that I sat there looking around the room at all these young people - one of which just had a baby, her first one, and was there with her little one. They're almost all younger than me, and of course don't have as many kids as me, if at all. I started feeling kind of alone. Kind of like not belonging, like everyone else there is in college and living the single life - although there are some married people that go, just a handful though. That no-one really knows how this trial is...blah blah blah.

But then I thought of you! And I was SO thankful for what you shared with me at the sister's conference, that you were struggling with not wanting to be sick, and while the baby IS a joy, of course!! You were still struggling.

That meant so much to me. I think if I hadn't heard that from you I would now be feeling really alone and almost condemned?? for how I am feeling. It's that impending doom sort of that wants to come over you, knowing that the morning sickness is out there....looming....and I am feeling probably right now, how you were feeling at sister's conference. Kind of nauseous but just the outskirts of it.

Bret & I have a trip planned to Arizona in 2 weeks. We've been planning for it for months, and it was going to be perfect, so so perfect. Now....I have a feeling that I'm going to be pretty sick by then. At least, if the track record of every other pregnancy I've had, holds true. I'm so thankful for this baby, I really and truly am! When I step back and look at the bigger picture, I know I will never EVER regret accepting this little one with open arms.

Yet the enemy comes...and whispers...why this month? Why why why........

Last night though, I wanted to share this with you - I was thinking of you while I listened to the brothers share this verse from a song. Read the WHOLE thing - #278, it is so uplifting! But this part:

"You who have faith in your heart received,
Lift them (your hands) t'ward heaven today,
Glorious promise in darkest night --
You'll be triumphant by faith!
Lift them to God; He will surely save.
Don't let them fall; persevere, be brave!
Lift up your hands, and the way you'll pave;
Heaven will answer with fire!"

I just got this vision of God answering me, in my need, with my hands lifted up in the air. I picture Him answering with FIRE when I pray for help in my time of need. Fire is like, intense. It's extreme! It's not mild, it's not like oh...yeah, okay, sure, I'll help you.

No, it is an answer that comes from heaven, full of POWER and not of fear. It is a surety, that my God shall supply ALL my need according to His riches and glory.

I also read the best article last night on Brunstad.org.

http://www.brunstad.org/en/Close-up-life/Portrait/The-word-no-one-wants-to-hear/

A sister who has cancer - she wrote this:

"“One night at the hospital, the fear of death started to overwhelm me. I became afraid. I prayed, ‘Dear God, now You need to take over – my body, my family – everything. I commit myself to you completely so you can guide my life exactly as you please.’ Then I went to sleep, and I slept very well.

Since then, that has been my attitude, even though I have been tested in my declaration: ‘Dear God, now you need to take over.’ I have needed to fight for it, and it has been something I have needed to continually lay hold of by faith. Even though I did not always feel reassured right away, I was constantly reminded of what I had said to God."

That spoke to me so powerfully. Why do I always try to do everything in my own reasoning (asking God WHY He sent this child now, as opposed to later so we could go on our trip), and in my own strength (forgetting to call on Him when I'm worried about being sick or stretched to my limits with the children when I feel awful)? That is so simple. "Dear God, now you need to take over."

Another thing that was said last night - when we blur the lines between the past and the future, then things become complex. When we focus on today, then things are simple.

Thanks for listening. =) I'm encouraged now from "talking" to you, my dear sister. God bless both of us in the days ahead to come!

Love & prayers, Sherah

PS

PS I forgot to tell you, what was shared about that song - that when we lift up our hands to heaven (even theoretically, in our head =) then our vision is also lifted - that is what the song is talking about.

That in the midst of our situations where we are surrounded by little ones and more complex situations with our older ones, when all seems to be in chaos (last night Bret babysat while I went to the youth meeting and the house is/was in disarry; I feel so overwhelmed with all that needs to be cleaned today on top of my normal amount!!) that we can lift our hands up to heaven.

When we start to see only what is in front of us, the earthly situations and what we must go through, our hands start to droop back down to the earth and things that weigh us down there.

It was a good picture for me to lay hold of! =)