Goodbye...see you on my other blog!

Thank you for staying with me through this journey of pregnancy and baby #8! I am now officially no longer pregnant...lol...and 6 weeks postpartum has come and gone. I will be switching back over to my normal blog, which will record the comings and goings of normal everyday life.

You can join me over there....here!

http://7blessingsfromabove.blogspot.com/ in case the link doesn't work.

6 Weeks! At last...this is supposed to be the magic date..?!

If that's true, why am I so tired? This morning I am bone-weary, melt-in-the-couch tired. I suppose it could have something to do with the fact that last night Charlie didn't go to sleep until 12:30, then woke up at 4:15 and nursed 'til 5am. Then I had to wake him up at 6:30 to nurse 'til 7am so that he would be fed and sleeping while I took the kids to school. Once he went back to sleep, I made their lunches and got them all up/dressed/fed and off to school.

Last night I made up a list of things I wanted to do today, and actually most of them were/are things that just need to get done anyway. Like tidy the house, 2 loads of laundry, etc. I was going to come home, nurse the baby, then just dive in and really get some things done. I was also going to try to just drink green smoothies only today - I've been eating way too much chocolate, and baked goods/sugar and my body is crying out for a detox.

But none of that even happened. I am so tired. All I can do is kind of just sit here, after putting on a movie & giving the kids 2 & 4, fruit snacks. Even Charlie is still in his carseat on my bed sleeping....I should be waking him up and feeding him so he'll stay on his loose schedule. I SHOULD be sleeping, actually, but getting woken up multiple times by the kids just is more torturous when you're so dead tired than staying up is, so.

In my mind I see that it's 6 weeks and my clothes are tighter than ever, and it's time to start working out again and dieting. Or at least eating clean and maybe throwing in a couple of fasting 'til dinner days per week. But when I wake up, and I know I have to exercise and I know I have to eat clean and there is NO chocolate in my future that day it's like I have nothing to look forward to. I'm barely able to cope as it is, with so much required of my time.

But I'm not complaining, I'm content where I am for now - I did give myself until February 1st to just kind of take it easy in the whole losing weight department and it feels nice not to have the pressure.

I remember though, that 6 weeks is the turning point alot of times - the whole blurry fog starts to lift. And in Charlie's defense, he did almost sleep 4 hours last night! He NEVER does that, and the fact that he's starting to sleep longer at night is a very cheery thought! He's never had his days & nights mixed up, his little life is just all the same, every 3 hours like clockwork. But it'll sure be nice when he starts sleeping 5-6 hours at a time. I'll never take sleeping all night long with no interruptions for granted again! (you'd think I would have figured that out by now after having 7 newborns previously, ha!)

I am longing to go running these days. I think because it doesn't really feel like exercise to me, it's more like an enjoyable walk in that it doesn't require hurculean amounts of effort like lifting weights does. The temps have been in the mid 30's which I know is not as freezing as some areas in the country, but for here it is FREAKIN' COLD to go running! But it's not really that, so much as it is the darkness. I LOVE running with the music cranked to some upbeat tunes. It's super exhilarating and gives a rush like nothing else (well, drugs maybe - just having finished giving birth!). And I really don't mind running in the dark, our neighborhood has lots of well-lit streets. HOWEVER I don't feel comfortable running with music, in the dark. And that takes all the fun out of it!

So - waaah on that account. I'm trying to figure out how I can still run, but the only time really, is after the kids come home from school at around 4pm. Hmmm. Me thinks that is just too much of a wild and crazy time to have Rachel babysit. Ah well, I suppose soon enough the days will get lighter earlier and I will have more sleep under my belt so I can get up before everyone wakes up and go running. I did that often last spring/summer and it was DIVINE. Glorious sunny spring mornings! DEF on my "to do" list again.

5 Weeks + 1 day Postpartum - glimpse of a day in my life (more added)

Today has been so wonderful! I think God delights in doing that to us sometimes - we have these fears and thoughts about how it will be, based on what we've experienced in the past and then of course we tend to amplify it into what if I have an AWFUL night's sleep and then I STILL have to get up at 6:30 to get the kids to school? What if Charlie won't nurse when he's supposed to and ends up screaming for like 45 minutes in the bedroom and on the way to/from school because I can't stop to nurse him in the busy bussle of things?

Charlie slept for 3 1/2 hours straight last night! I think that's a record - from 11:30-3am...so, so nice! Too bad Jack4 came in my room with a bad dream at 2am, lol...that's just how it goes though. My thought is that if Charlie can sleep for longer than 2 hours at a time once, he'll do it again! Not that I'm complaining really, though - I think the whole reason why I have a good supply of milk (ok, maybe the beer and oatmeal are helping too?) is because he religiously nurses on both sides every 3 hours for half an hour. Like, on the dot. Or sooner. It's nice to see him gaining!

Anyway, so at 3:30 he was finished nursing and fell asleep right away, then didn't wake up again until 6am. So nice!! I was able to sleep then, until 7:15 because I did all the prep (clothes & lunches) last night. When he fell asleep once finished at 6:30, I gingerly and tentatively put him in his carseat all cozy and ready to go, and thankfully he fell asleep promptly. I was a bit nervous about that. So when we left at 8:15 for school, I just grabbed his seat and put it in the car.

I was able to get the kids up (soooo tired they were, they've been on a majorly late to bed/late to get up schedule for the entire Christmas break!) and go about our normal pre-baby schedule/routine. It was a bit hard for them, they were kind of confused because I do things like I always have, and not how they were starting to get used to DAD or SISTER doing them while I was MIA.

Of course Grace7 refused to eat her cereal (omg lol, O totally wrote "sister" and left it that way for an entire day! No, I do not force my children to cannibalize!) because I put uncooked oatmeal in it (standard for our family, they've grown up on it and she knows it), and shoved it down the table length where it sloshed and spilled. Hmmm. Then Isaac9 was found back in his bed, although fully clothed, covering his head and entire body with a blanket saying that his leg hurt. Hmmm. Just normal stuff, you know.

On the way to school none of them fought which is a huge miracle - they almost always do. We are in tight quarters in our car and are even more so now since we've added another little body in a big fat carseat. Ha ha!

After dropping the four older ones off at school 8 minutes away, I headed back towards a different school 4 min away to drop off the Kinder, then back home to nurse the baby for half an hour while watching Mommy & Me with Jack4 and Harmony2. Harmony was pretty fussy (sick) but I tended to her as best I could and proceeded to...drumroll...do my very first workout without a big heavy belly! LOVE LOVE LOVED it - I went realllly light because 1) I'm obviously not in shape and 2) I don't want to be majorly sore tomorrow. My normal workout calls for 9 different exercises done 10 reps each, then repeat 3x. Today I did every single one, but only did the first set of 10 reps, and with 8lb weights only. Very light compared to before, but I still can feel it for sure. I mean, I definitely have not done ANY pushups since like, 4 months pregnant. Ha ha!

Only problem, wow, I really just do not have ANY extra time with the baby and exercise (which means extra showering) and taking the kids 3x per day! Yowza! It's like everything fits into these little time slots and if I follow what I'm supposed to do, I have only time for those things. NOTHING extra. Like right now I am blogging but I should be tidying up the morning tornado mess, it's the only time I have in the whole day until after the kids come home from school.

After my 30 min workout, I went to take a shower and oh yeah, forgot that the main bathtub (I didn't want to use my room's bath becuz baby was sleeping and I knew the littles would totally wake him up) was plugged. So I got the drain-o, and it said to wait 15 minutes for it to work. So I was like hmmm...what should I do while waiting? I surveyed the disaster that was the bathroom and decided yep, clean THAT. So I worked on that for about 20 minutes and it felt so great to get that done. (I HATE cleaning bathrooms, it's one of my majorly hated jobs lol!)

Jumped in the shower and then quickly dressed, then to the kitchen to make my oatmeal for the morning. While it cooked, I unloaded the dishwasher while Harmony2 helped me. Oh no, look at the TIME! I have to go get Marie5 from Kinder in just 10 minutes! If I'm even just 5 minutes late they have her wait in the office and I have to bring all the kids in to get her. Can I gulp down the oatmeal? Aargh!

Got distracted reading my friend's birth story (soooo cool, Annalise!!!) while eating bfast and barely got there in time, then back home to nurse for half hour, then make lunch for the 3 littles, and now I am here. It is 12:40 now and we have leave to get the kids at school at 3pm. It's going to be tricky now, figuring out how to get them all down for a nap so that I can sleep too....!

But I am thankful for today, it was been wonderful to be back on a schedule again!!!!!

Edited/added at 9:15pm

Well, days can't be ALL perfect, right? The rest of the day involved a nap for me for 1 hour and 20 minutes! That was awesome. After the kids came home from school I was involved in things like locking myself in the bathroom to nurse to keep the 3 kids ages 5, 4, 2 from continuing to fight, tease, and cry and climb all over me while nursing. Sometimes I just have to retreat and block everything out otherwise I'll go crazy.

So that was one of those times.

DH was also gone all night - he's still not home, so it was pretty stressful. Especially dinner time when everyone to some degree is crying or yelling or trying to talk to me and I'm trying to make dinner while a couple of them are practicing rollerskating IN the kitchen. Which is pretty small to begin with, but the only hard floor we have in our home. Oh...and the baby was laying on the couch crying too. lol When it rains, it pours but in all fairness when the sun is out it really shines too!

So now I have the task set before me of making lunches, laying out the clothes, and getting the baby to sleep so I can also sleep. Oh, and telling the kids to settle down/get back in bed/you already had a drink of water/stop teasing. Aaaaand I get to enjoy a beer while perusing pinterest.

Just sayin'.

Life's simple pleasures become more pleasurable when they only come in snatches! ...but snuggling with Charlie is pretty awesome too. =) He's currently snoring on my shoulder, lol.

Yes, my phone camera is crappy but -- hey, don't knock it...I'll get an iphone someday!

4 Weeks, 3 days pp - definitely gaining weight

...and funny thing is, I really don't even care. I haven't weighed myself but I KNOW I'm not losing for sure - I've probably gained maybe 5 pounds this Christmas season. It's kind of nice not to care, and actually, I feel like whenever I look in the mirror it's through the fog anyway so I don't get a clear look at myself so I don't care. For now, it seems that eating yummy things is 1) fun during the holidays and 2)something I can look forward to in this endless loop of little sleep/nursing/taking care of littles. I know EXACTLY how to get it off once I do start on February 1st so I'm not worried about it. I just have to keep the depressed thoughts at bay and seriously NOT care how I look - which is great while around the house but once I start socializing, not so easy. Oh well, since I know I've been thin before and know how to get there, I'm kind of just enjoying this time and LOVING chocolate. So there! =) hee hee

Currently, my schedule:

Nighttime feedings, usually around 1am, 4am, 7am, 10am. The kids are SO sweet to take care of each other and play quietly while I sleep -- my 2year old stays in her crib dozing or playing with her older sisters in their room. I've asked them not to get her out of her crib so that she doesn't come bang on my door. Since they are all on a 10pm bedtime sort of schedule it works out ok to get her up that late, otherwise I would feel bad. =(

Get up, share the baby with all his siblings as they still clamor to take turns to hold him. He's at his most delightful in the morning for about half an hour after a good sleep and full tummy so they enjoy him alot while I get the littles diaper's changed, dressed, myself dressed.

Except today it is 2pm and I'm still not dressed. It's like hmmm...should I do x or x? Get dressed OR clean up the cereal bowls on the table before the 2 year old decides to play dump the milk into the bowls over & over? lol!

At 1pm Charlie is ready to nurse again so I do that with littles climbing all over me - then make lunch, with usually at least 3 of them clamoring to help and wanting to sit on the tiny counter while I try to lay out 7 plates. It's tricky and I'm learning that if I'm going to be in a good mood and let them help me (which I DO want to, I love to let them help, but being so tired everything is kind of on a short fuse with me, =() then I need to make sure I've eaten something good for breakfast that does NOT include dairy or flour or sugar. Hmph. Pretty much everything. LOL

By the time I'm ready to lay down with the 3 little ones, Charlie is awake again. So it's been tricky trying to figure out how to juggle the whole naptime thing --- which is partly why I'm looking forward to being on a schedule again with school and all. At 1pm Jack4 and Harmony2 are NOT ready for a nap, but Charlie is.

I think I'm rambling. At least, I am trying to wrap my head around my "schedule" as it were, and I can't really even figure it out. Ha ha! Sigh.

I put on some BMM songs yesterday and they were like balm to my spirit. I've been in such a fog, trying to basically survive, to be a million and one people to everyone in my house that needs it (Mom, wife, comforter, cleaner, friend, listener, etc you get the picture) that I forget to nourish my own spirit for strength from above. And it is amazing how much of a difference, how completely it turns my world right side up again and I see everything in the right perspective.

I am seeing so much of myself...that I am such a naturally selfish person who rebells against having to go through this time because it is hard for ME. It's good to remember that this is a beautiful life I've been given and I truly do LOVE where I am in right now!

New Taylor family picture!

This year I had NO energy to get the whole family together for a picture, but our last one was taken 2 years ago so we really wanted to send one out to family and friends. My sister used a super awesome camera + her talents to help me out...LOVE how it turned out! What do you think?

Here's my most recent FAVE picture of Charlie too. =)

And...a closeup of everyone's favorite picture in the group...

4 Weeks postpartum & more overwhelmed than ever...

I don't think anyone is actually "cut out" to have this many kids with a newborn in the house! It's crazy how that one little baby just strips the Mom of any and all ability to cope...! Like, I can take care of my home and my family --- but when you add in soreness from breastfeeding, sore wrists from nursing, stiff & aching body from so many hours of nursing (hmmm I'm seeing a trend here...currently I am NOT enjoying nursing) and then the hours lost of sleep - it just makes for a really overwhelmed Mom who can't handle loud noises (yeah, not so quiet with 8 kids in an 1190 square food house and half of them are sick so they keep crying about everything) and aaack! The messy house is driving me batty and yet when I get like one little minute of free time I definitely don't want to spend it cleaning. Right now I NEED to be taking my midday nap while Charlie sleeps but instead I made some eggs and am snatching a little moment online. I hope against hope that when I go in to lie down, he won't start fidgeting and fussing again. Good thing he's so darn CUTE lol!

Last night Charlie had little fits and tiny moments of sleep until 3am. That was rough - I think I've been eating too much chocolate??? So I am cutting wayyy down on that today to see if that is the problem. But as I was drifting in and out of sleep in between his little naps, I was praying that God would help me to be thankful. I have so much to be thankful for!!! And it really helps when I have that overcoming spirit of thankfulness, because then in a way, everything He sends my way is too good for me, you know?

I'm looking forward to next week when the kids will be in school again so maybe I can make a dent in cleaning and it won't be so loud in here during the day. But then I also dread having to wake the baby up at 6am to nurse so that we'll have enough time to get everyone ready and out the door. And what if he is just barely settling down for a nap by the time we have to leave to get them at 3pm? And I miss my window for a nap and then have to go the rest of the day on zero tolerance? Uuuuuuuuuhhhhhh my brain is just mush thinking about it.

Gotta' run, my 10 min window of time is over. =)

2 Weeks (+ 2 days) - Weigh-in, I feel FAB, & our first outing!

Two weeks was actually 2 days ago, lol, but...well, you take what you can get when it comes to time to post!

This is my favorite picture of Charlie so far - he is just 4 days old here with my MIL who has been such a huge help driving the kids to & from school! If you look carefully in the background you can see my bedroom --- *love* - and the white dresser/changetable with a mirror that I fixed up, and envisioned as a peaceful place while in labor. See my cute little diaper holder, the black & white thing with a gray ribbon flower? Fun!

I weighed in at 143 pounds on the 14-day mark which means I have exactly half of my weight gained left to lose: 16 pounds. Why does that still seem like so much? Maybe because with Jack I only had like NINE left to lose by now. Ah well, I'm not even remotely eating raw vegan right now so I shouldn't be surprised. I'm glad to have lost a little more though, and would be SUPER de DUPER happy if I could get down to the 130's before I start my kick-butt weight loss routine in February. I think if I watch what I eat moderately it will happen - and not eat 10 chocolate chip cookies in one sitting like I JUST NOW DID (hmmmm) even if they ARE mini cookies. =) =)

Someone described it as "deep hunger" when you are nursing. It seems to be so true -- I am ALL about fasting and know exactly what it feels like to be super hungry. And yet, it doesn't seem quite as intense as the hunger you experience when nursing...it's like God knew when he made woman that she would be longing to lose the weight after baby, even immediately after, but He made SURE that the hunger would be so intense that she is like NOM NOM to everything in sight, ha ha! That's me too, even at midnight. I try to keep goodies out of the house because when it hits I literally will be like a drug addict, searching out ANYTHING that involves baked goods or chocolate. Strangely enough, ice cream holds no interest for me....??? Weird.

So on this day -- I feel SO great. Last week was pretty intense, but this week - ow, baby!! I feel fantastic. Mostly because my huge tummy that was so heavy..is GONE. Yay for baby coming out! And my bleeding is virtually nonexistant now, thank the good Lord above (hate that).

But just as an FYI, I am not doing much cleaning or anything that really takes exertion right now. I am relying heavily on Lucy who comes 2x a week to do the deep cleaning of bathrooms/vacuuming/kitchen -- and then each day all of my kids clean the whole house usually twice. It's kind of cool having so many kids because they are each in charge of one room, and since our house is small - all I have to do is announce that we're cleaning the rooms we're in charge of in 5 minutes (it works well to prepare them) and in about 15 minutes, the whole house is clean. They are also in charge of everything dishes and laundry related, although I do fold/put away mine & DH's and Charlie's clothes.

I feel like, this has been the best time of postpartum I have ever had. I really, really was dreading that part ... that, and the birth. Just one of those things that are inevitable and no matter what I do, I HAVE to go through it. And the unknown. But anyway, the past 2 weeks have been a dream...I know it has been HUGELY in part to the excellent care I have had. Funny to think that the 8th baby would be my best time of healing, of postpartum, eh? Maybe it's because I am not trying to do everything on my own, I'm letting people help.

But MOST of all, it is Charlie. He is the sweetest baby, honestly, I think of all that I have ever had. He nurses PERFECTLY and has now gotten it down to a science (well, almost - he still falls asleep too much in my opinion lol) so where it used to take me 1 hr and 15 min to nurse him (omg my butt would get NUMB!!), it now takes approx 25-30 min.

So because of THAT, my nights have been just wonderful! He does his 3-hour routine almost down to the MINUTE, it's so funny - he wakes up at midnight, nurses/gets changed/burped etc for about 45 minutes (of which I enjoy watching Nikita - thanks for the idea, Jen! I've already watched 1 1/2 entire seasons since he was born, lol), then I lay him down in his bed (even if he's awake, he's sooo good!) and he goes to sleep within minutes. Sleeps the night away and then I wake up to hear his little cry, look at the clock, and sure enough - it's 3am! Rinse, repeat. =) Very rarely does he cry and cry...that has only happened twice since he was born, that he wouldn't go back to sleep at night.

As a result I wake up feeling pretty darn refreshed in the morning - the past few mornings I've woken up at 8am to help get the kids out the door, then nurse him and go about my day with the little ones. By noon I am about pooped, I can feel I'm starting to get kind of dizzy and my heart is pounding, so...time for naps, everyone! Since Charlie sleeps 2 out of 3 hours, it's fairly easy to coordinate his nap with the little ones because Harmony sleeps for 3 hours, and Jack for 1 1/2. I put H down from 12:30-3:30, and then as soon as Charlie goes to sleep I put Jack to bed and am able to sleep for a good 1 1/2 hours.

I wake up feeling refreshed and ready to tackle the mayhem of receiving 4 bigger kids after school, and do the necessary busy stuff to get dinner ready, etc. But once dinner is on the table and at about 7pm, I need to lay down again...so slowly but surely I am emerging from the fog of postpartum-ness.

I am fortunate in that we are almost to the Christmas break, which means no school - yay! DH has been taking the kids to & from school every day, and my MIL picks up my kinder. See? I'm taken such good care of! No wonder Charlie is on such a good schedule...he never needs to be interrupted to go anywhere.

Today, though, I was just itching to venture out of this house. Five of my kids need haircuts - Harmony's hair has never been cut and in it's 2 1/2 year old state is kind of sorry looking. Oh, actually, Marie5 cut her hair, chopped it at almost the scalp (of course!) when she was 1 1/2 and now it's finally growing out to look normal. But still scraggly in the back especially. Jack and Isaac just need normal boy haircuts cuz it's been 2 months since their last one.

Grace7? Oh yeah....THAT has been driving me nuts. She decided to chop ONE side of her hair because she was mad, she said. So one side is approx the length of her chin in the front, and all the rest is below her shoulders. And since I've been MIA for the past like, 3-4 weeks --- ugh. She looks like an orphan. The 5th one is James10, and he refuses to get his done at the hair shop, so I have to do that one myself.

Anyway, I felt like it would work this morning so I put Charlie in his carseat for his nap instead of his bed, quickly got the littles ready to go, and RAN to the hair shop. Jack & Harmony are now sporting the cutest little haircuts, and Charlie slept through the whole thing - yay!

Better run...naptime! Oops, it's already 1pm and I haven't put Harmony down yet...and I'm starting to feel kind of crampy like I've done too much. So - time to sleep. =)